GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEDEN
After Thursday's ep, which was brilliant, I did find myself wondering why Den went to all this trouble for a dodgy old boozer with a crap jukebox, but it was good fun to watch.

So, where were we? Denman and Shazza are busy snogging when Denman gets a call from Teen, reminding him that they're supposed to be going Xmas shopping together. That's Relationship Rule no. 768 - Never take the boyfriend shopping unless you need him to carry stuff - broken then. Denman trails around the market with a martyred expression on his face while Teen points significantly to baby clothes and tries to kiss him in front of Shazza. Way to go, Teen...

O-Den and LadyDen summon the troops to the Queen Vic to make an announcement. Fool's rushing around making preparations for some big Christmas "event". O-Den helps himself at the bar and laughs sinisterly when Fool protests.

Betty the dog spends the episode wearing a selection of camp seasonal outfits, the little fag hound. Gay Pike is distraught because half the cast of the nativity play have gone down with "this flu bug", and he's thinking of cancelling it. Poline adjusts Betty's santa cape and sets out to find new cast members: basically the teen muppets. And Ian. As the Angel Gabriel.

Rosie Klebb works out that the mystery nappy and clothes changer is none other than...Demi! Well...duh. Demi says she wants to be a proper mum, with all the sleepless nights and not having a minute to herself ever againm. Rosie and Keef look all soppy and approving, and don't think that it's just a ruse to slack off school.

Little Orphan Annie goes back to her mum, who looks quite normal and healthy and nice. What was she doing in hospital then? TriniDad and Yolande: sad.

PantoJane is spending Xmas with CJDave. She makes some time to attend the Nativity play, but then slips out to tell CJ Dave all about Ian's skinny legs. CJDave laughs. We all do, actually. So anyway, the Nativity is a roaring success, if only for the sight of Ian Beale in a tinsel halo and boxer shorts. Dot quotes the bible at all and sundry, and Scalliq makes an endearing scally shepherd who manages not to paint go-faster stripes on the live donkey. Demi gets all togged up in a sparkly blue nightie and towel for the nativity play, and manages to feed Cute Aleesha enough Calpol to keep her quiet throughout the performance. Cute Aleesha makes a fab baby Jesus anyway. The cutest bit is the primary kids singing Away in a Manger on the balcony and not gobbing on anyone. Not even Poline.

Back at the Vic, O-Den announces that the pub is a Watts pub once again, and they're moving in immediately. Shazza's polite "oh that's nice" is misinterpreted by Denman as "oh Dad, it's been my life's ambition to get this place back...I'll never shag my brother again...", and off he strops. Vickney and LadyDen remember that the flat is occupied, and tell O-Den off for chucking the Moons out on Christmas Eve, and O-Den says: "ooops...knew I forgot something." Den nips upstairs to tell Fool that the pub is all his now, so could he please pack up his crap and Ethel 2.0 and get out as soon as. He waves a big wodge of cash at Fool, but Fool refuses it. Hmm...I'm thinking tribunal...wrongful dismissal...tenancy hearing...oh sorry, of course not. They leave, but only after Fool tries to punch O-Den and O-Den pulls his Scrooge face. Ethel goes to stay at the Slater tardis (oooh...lucky Ethel), but the best Fool and Backstreet can do is to break into Ian Beale's chip van and sleep on the counter. Walford doesn't have an emergency housing office then? OoooK

Back at the club, Denman and Shazz have made up and are planning their Escape To New York. Denman gets carried away and starts kissing Shazz behind the bar - luckily the punters seem too pissed to care. Except for O-Den, who sees them from the door and looks grim. Duh duh duuuhhh...