STYLE: COUNCIL
Grrr. I got a new VCR but apparently can't programme it yet. I really
wanted to see the new Family too. Oh well, back to the BBC website for
meâ?¦.
Martin is shocked at his drunken fornication with Stalker Girl (aka
Sarah aka Italia Conti stylee Glenn Close etc etc). Luckily everyone
else was too pissed to remember much about it. He moves Poline's old
bed out of the room, so he can knob Moomin without being troubled by
visions of Arfur licking Poline's inner thighs. GlennClose keeps
texting him (he gave her his number: sucker!!!) and tracks him down to
Walford (perhaps she can hack into the GPS chip that Gay Pike
installed) and starts wittering on about them getting married and
having lots of babies etc. The Fowlers don't have a bunny to boil, but
I think Betty the Cute Puppy ought to start ringing her agent, if you
know what I mean. Anyway, Martin is super nice to Moomin all day but
their new bed doesn't show up ever.
If you look up "non comedy subplot" in the dictionary there will be a
picture of the Ferrieraz making stupid faces and pointing at each
other. This time, Scalliq finds that Martina's snake isn't in its
snakeatorium and is scared that it is loose and about to eat him or
whatever. He locks himself in the bathroom and rocks back and forth
sobbing until it turns out that Martina took it to the vet after all.
Ha ha ha heh, ahemmmâ?¦ (tumbleweed, etc).
Some nonsense about Byrite thinking that Sham is only nice to her
staff so they will come to her wedding and give the illusion of her
having mates.
Mickney's rough spide family arrive in an ice cream van. I will
reserve judgement until I see them in tha flesh but basically there is
dad Keith, who apparently has a bad back and is therefore a lazy
bastard. His wife Rosie, who looks like she could give you a good
smack in the mouth, and Mickney's kid brother Darren and sister Demi
(ok, that's quite a funny name) who is with child, even though she is
only 13. Rosie takes "an instant dislike to Poline" (which will save
time for later, when she actually gets to know herâ?¦) and thinks Poline
fancies Keith (well, Poline was like a slut on wheels when they went
to the holiday camp that time.) Darren runs round nicking stuff.
According to the EE website "Panto Jane spies him eyeing up her buns
and sends him packing." Shut up, EE website. Keith manages to get the
delivery men to deliver Moomin's new bed to their house but Poline
guesses and goes round and starts screaming at him. Rosie thinks she
is trying to rape him or something and drags her downstairs into the
street and calls her a strumpet. "Mickney's pacifying words can't
diffuse the atmosphere between the glowering matriarchs," it says
here.
