HUNTINGDON'S 101
Now, it's not often that I'm reluctant to write this blog, but this week has nearly made me pack it in for good. It's fun letting rip about the odd bad episode if the rest is quite good, but this current vein of pure 18-carat ordure is getting more than fucking tedious. Anyway, whinge over. Let's get on with it.

CJDave has Huntingdon's - a hereditary degenerative disease that hit him ten years ago, when he married PantoJane. Neither event is related, they assure us. PantoJane gives us the lowdown on caring for a loved one and she discusses the meaning of Life with the Bealemeister. Ian looks uncomfortable and says that contrary to popular opinion he isn't a complete arsehole 24/7, and if PJane wants to take up his five minutes a week of basic humanity with some counselling, she's welcome. Oh, it's the "I don't mind being friends..." speech of total desperation. PJane fails (again) to head for the hills, and instead tells him that she's in love with him (eh? what is it with Ian and Fill and women?), but she's staying faithful to CJDave until he pops off this mortal coil. That'll be next week then. Probably another comedy seduction scene.

Speaking of non-comedy seductions, Mickney and Kareena try to discuss him telling Gus who told Juley about Kareena's virginity in a houseful of Dolescums. They retreat to Mickney's bedroom. Mickney explains. Kareena loses her cherry while the family are downstairs, probably watching Corrie if they've got any sense. Oh, and apparently Keef is a chess whizz.

Quote from the BBC site: "Mickey and Kareena share a cosy post-nooky moment". Gag.

Martin comes home with a bunch of flowers nicked from Arfur's allotment, and finds GlennCloser The Betty Boiler chatting to Moomin. Betty the dog must have gone with Poline to Auntie PlotDevice, thank goodness. Moomin explains that Glenn fainted in front of a passing truck. Glenn keeps trying to hold Martin's hand; Moomin's Moomin powers are set to "heal" and not "Danger! there's a Betty Boiler in my house!". Martin glares at Glenn through slitty eyes and rolls his eyes a lot. Every time Martin suggests that Glenn leaves, Glenn goes "ooh...I've fallen...", and Moomin offers her medical diagnosis of Glenn's falling sickness - Glenn's pregnant, apparently. Open heart surgery's in the second semester is it?

Glenn makes pointed remarks about marrying the first man who comes along not being a good idea. Then she mentions that her boyfriend is married and called Martin. Martin nearly falls off his chair with the glowering. Moomin's powers register a disturbance in the Force, but then she's distracted when Glenn falls over again or something. Martin glowers some more and sulks about not being able to take Moomin to see Bazz in Saturday Night Fever. Don't worry mate. Mark says it's rubbish. Finally Moomin goes out to FerreiraCabz to order a cab to Wimbledon for Glenn. So that's where the Wombles went, eh? Into Glenn's casserole...

Martin shouts at Glenn. Glenn witters about Sonia being really nice, and maybe they need to be cruel to be kind and tell Moomin. Ruh roh!

Martina persuades DJ Ross to use his DJ Shouting skillz to good effect in the cab office. Well, shouting "Cab for Rosie at 11pm" can't be that different to what he does when he's DJing. DJ Ross looks sad and defeated. I have officially run out of care...