LEANING ON A CRAP PLANE
Mickney's got a plane so that he can whittle Loser's Bench down to a pile of matches in a vain attempt to clean it. Poline is so cross that she's decided to go and spend a few days moaning at some aunty or other because even Gay Pike can't listen to her any more. Rosie Klebb-Dolescum tries to apologise, but Poline tells her she's nothing but Dolescum cluttering up the lives of respectable murdering baby-stealers like the Moomin-Fowlers. A silent extra intervenes before Rosie can get to Poline's wig.

Backstreet finally gets through to Kellay's message service to tell her about his new management position. Fool looks perturbed and pumps Kareena for information. Kareena finally confesses that Kellay has taken up with some bloke in Spain and she ain't coming back. Didn't she do this before and get into trouble with Teen over some money she nicked to pay off this bloke...oh does it matter? Really?

Kareena's all "LOSER" whenever anybody mentions Mickney's name. Mickney does almost as good a kicked puppy look as MYGus. Then a bloke with dodgy Carl Lewis hair tries to chat her up and make out he's a bigshot club owner. Kareena goes: "Oooh, a club owner! Listen to my brother. He DJs and he's dead good..." DJ Ross spins his wheels of steel, but Club Owner is more interested in Kareena. There's some nonsense with dodgy business cards, and Club Owner turns out to be nothing but a sad fake with what looks like a snail trail across his back. DJ Ross strops about Kareena being unwise in the ways of Men. And he wasn't leaping around like a labrador puppy when he thought that he'd hit the Big Time, on no. Denman intervenes prettily, but DJ Ross strops off in mid set.

Shazza finds Teen and Denman clothes and dodgy passport booth photos (ever heard of phone cams, kiddies?) all over the living room and huffs about having to tidy them up. Denman is all: "Are you jealous of me and my teen girlfriend? Are you? Are you?" Shazz: "In your dreams..." but then her chin quivers, and you can see that she's going to run off and cry into a pair of Denman's discarded pants.

Minty glowers at Byrite. Billy glowers at everybody. Perhaps he's lost his voice and can only glower. BB appears to be Byrite's new bitch, and gives Minty an excuse to drop some wedding-related stationery chez Mitchell. Minty sees Sham in her bridal gown (she's been trying it on - it's a bit boring for an EE wedding dress, to be honest) and immediately gets his oft-fingered ring out to propose. Sham actually looks like she might consider it, but says no because she loves Byrite and he loves her money...bwahahahahaha. Later she asks Minty to look after Babs and keep her mind free of anti-Byrite propaganda. Looks like she has managed to find a whole new seam of stupidity in the Idiot Mine after all.

Backstreet has been reading Pointy-Haired Management For Dummies, but Ian isn't impressed and sets him to scrubbing the chip shop floor during business hours. Oh, that's safe, Ian. Backstreet tries to prove his worth by bullying Ian's idle builders, but the builders burn his book and try to flush his head down the toilet - except they forgot they haven't plumbed the toilet in. Ian threatens them with aggravated assault or something, and then I had to see to the baby, sorry. I think Fool tells Backstreet that Kellay done him wrong, but I'm not sure.

Meanwhile, MMartin still hasn't discovered his phone's Silent profile. He tries to tell GlennCloser to leave him alone, but somehow GlennCloser manages to interpret that as something more Beckhamish. She follows him to the club and witters on about them meeting twice in the same place, must be fate calling them back. MMartin asks her nicely to go away. Apparently on Planet GlennCloser, "please go away and leave me alone forever. Now," is a proposal of marriage. MMartin: sad. GlennCloser: mad.