PAT COVERS THE WATERFRONT
Whatever Zen Master Dr Perv managed to say to TriniDad yesterday seems to have worked. Now TriniDad is just pacing up and down, wondering if, you know, it would have made a difference if he had, you know, been there when Bad Brutha was growing up. Dr Perv says he was rather jealous of BB because at least TriniDad actually noticed him. Fair point, says TriniDad, and gives Yolande a hug. Dr Perv senses that his work here is done and hightails it back to Cambodia/Holby City. Bye bye Dr Perv. I'd like to say, well that's that with the BB-is-dead-story then, but I know it isn't.

Drippy accidentally tells LadyDen about O-Den throwing money at Teen. This throws LadyDen into a right old strop, and she goes straight off to yell at Teen for being a money-grabbing ho. Teen's busy hanging up a bunch of tops that even Girls Aloud would think were a bit lairy, but she's all tormented innocence and denial that O-Den will have anything to do with her baby. While LadyDen sulks in the caff, Teen tells O-Den to stay away, but then she starts crying again, and it's all very confusing. Lee sees LadyDen in the caff, flirts with her a bit, and tells her that, as an avid watcher of Trisha (yes! a reference to a RL TV programme!) he knows all about women and relationship problems and advises her to have a lesbotic affair with Teen, then make them both do a lie detector test in front of an audience of angry grannies. Not really. LadyDen goes back and tells O-Den that she wants complete openness and truth-telling, or she'll dye what's left of his hair fuschia, or something. Then she goes back to Teen to tell her to stay away from O-Den and his filthy money otherwise O-Den will start claiming more than visiting rights. Teen looks like she's about to start blubbing again.

Keef is angry with Billy because his refusal to open up the vid shop means that Keef has to watch Groundhog Day over and over again (see what they did there?). Drippy sends AGarry to spy on Billy. AGarry reports that Billy has descended into Single Man Hell, and the cockroaches are starting to complain about the mess. Drippy gets AGarry to take Billy out while she cleans up the flat. For god's sake woman, let the man fester if he wants. Billy catches her putting the vac away, demands her key and tells her to stay away, and no they can't be friends.

JoJo instructs Devil Child Lucy in the gentle art of Bad Stepchildhood while ripping the free lippy off copies of Sugar and selling them for a quid. Yolande tells her off for being rude to Keef. Devil Child Lucy goes home to practise her dark arts on PantoJane.

Tony Bennett has been hanging around the square all day. He also drinks black tea with no milk, which suggests that he's either That Hard, or he's lactose intolerant, the big girl.

Fool moans and strops about bringing Ethel 2.0 so low as to live in a squat. Hmm... a squat with hot and cold running water and leccy? Pat tries to help them settled down, but Fool is disappointed that Lee gets to Ethel 2.0 first in the battle for her soul. Ethel says she's staying, and that's that. Fool cries into his jumper. The doorbell rings, and it's Tony Bennett, wondering why the keys to his new house don't work any more. So how did Juhneen manage to offload that then? Tony lets the Moons stay, then whiffles on about growing up in the East End and how it was all fields round here, you know. This gives Pat time to come downstairs and bump into him. And yes, they do know each other, but when Tony asks Pat if she's "still working", Pat looks uncomfortable.