HER HEAD IN IS A BITTER WAY
NB: anybody who can identify the song that line comes from is officially sadder than me.
Everybody still thinks O-Den's on his "business trip", so Sham, LadyDen and Teen have plenty of time to develop their obsessive/compulsive disorders. Sham's clearing Byrite's stuff from the house (isn't it hers again?). Apparently Quentin got there first because all she gets out of it is a small box containing a jazz mag and some aftershave. Minty tries to look sympathetic, but Sham's says she's not bothered, and twitches. LadyDen comes over to apologise, but Sham tells her to get stuffed and worry about Teen because she's gonna crack any day now and Sham is the only one acting halfway normal...

Teen is approaching her nineteenth nervous breakdown of the day, then she sees JoJo rummaging around in her wardrobe, close to the White Jacket of Doom! Lots of screaming and a bit of backchat from JoJo as she is thrown from the room by the Shoulders of Justice. Teen runs down to the launderette to wash the jacket. Cold water and Vanish, dear...oh, she's tumbledrying it. That'll work. Not. LadyDen has a go at Teen, telling her to pull herself together and stop wringing her manhands. Teen whimpers about LD being heartless...oh shut up, Teen.

LadyDen's OCD is to twitch her hair a lot and shout at anybody who asks where O-Den is. Drippy gets it in the neck first, when she moans that Silent Tracey has deserted her post. Pat steps in and flirts goddessly with the punters. Then O-Den's mobile rings. LadyDen answers the phone and says: "Silly O-Den! Fancy leaving his phone behind!". Pat's earrings twitch suspiciously and she goes into Gran Detective Mode. LadyDen tells her to stop sticking her nose in. More twitching...Teen whines on about LadyDen not taking care of the details...bored now.

Lee's still thinking about Tony Bennett's offer, but he's also worried about Curly. Tony says that Lee would be giving up a "magazine lifestyle" (which magazine, The Big Issue?). Fool tells Curly that Tony's not after him, and maybe he should, like, get a job or something to help out. Curly thinks that's a brilliant idea, and decides to burgle Byrite's safe. Lee catches him and despairs some more, but then has the wizard wheeze of persuading Tony to give Curly a job on the door in return for this Quentin-like job. Watch this space for the hilarious consequences.

Dumber wants money for a school trip. A likely story! Anyway, it prompts Keef to consider a visit to the Job Centre, but a mock interview with Dumber makes him think again about his lack of qualifications. Dumber does an amazingly accurate impersonation of a lady who once interviewed me for a shelf-stacking job in Sainsbury's ("Now Ms S, how do you think a degree in English Literature will help you arrange tomatoes on shelf?"). Keef bottles out of the Job Centre interview and sits in the allotments instead. Rosie thinks he's on the way to full employment and celebrates by buying a 1980s charity shop suit an advance from LadyDen.

PantoJane moves into the Beales' den after Ian promises free meals for the Ferreiras if they help her. I think the producers have a rule of only two Ferreiras in any episode. There's another Adull/Martina fail to get it on sub-plot that will probably end up with Adull falling into the arms of Scalliq. PJ breaks a pot made by DC Lucy, but Lucy doesn't mind. She's probably got one upstairs made out of CJDave's skull or something.

Poline and Gay Pike have had enough of Moomin's all-night orgasmic shrieking. Poline tries to ask Moomin to turn it down a notch, but Moomin just croaks something about college, blushes and runs away. Later, she moans to MMartin that they can't even have loud, dirty all-night sex without his mother moaning about the noise. What I want to know is: how come Poline and GP have only just noticed?