APPETITE FOR DESTRUCT-DEN
Sorry this is late, gentle readers. I did actually try and post this by email on friday lunchtime but apparently the internet was broken or something. I tuned in expecting drama and thrills aplenty ON THURSDAY, but instead it
was just boring filler. Why dost thou torment me so, EE writers?

Anyway - lots of trivial nonsense to get out of the way first: DC Lucy
is still perfecting her Vicky Pollard routine ("Do I look like I'm
bovvered" etc) and emotionally blackmails Jane into buying a fancy
frock for her (after Jane held up a couple of shapeless black numbers
that would be more suited to an Italian widow). JoJo continues her
feud with Dumber, after she catches him lurking round the shop and he
makes fun of her crush on Mickney. Rosie still is hinting about a
wedding. Sham starts work at the Vic, ignoring catty comments from Ian
and O-Den, and bonds with Drippy a bit.

Fool tells Curly&Lee that he and Ethel 2.0 are definitely moving out
of the house. He stands in the betting shop making Sad Faces until
Tony Bennet agrees to see him. Fool says he isn't judging Tony, but
that he doesn't like to be beholden to gangster scum like him and
Byrite. Tony tells him off for comparing him to a wussy wuss like
Byrite and says that if Fool isn't scared of him (Tony) then he
shouldn't be scared of Byrite either. Later on he comes round with a
proper tenancy agreement and browbeats Fool into signing it. Tony then
goes and threatens Lee a bit and says that Lee owes him a favour now.

Teen mopes around the stall and wonders what to do about the baby.
Just a hint Teen, but your workplace is surrounded by coathangers.
O-Den keeps popping up and saying that he has rights and will get Teen
declared an unfit mother if she continues to defy him. Teen is sad and
goes home to mope around. JoJo, Charlie and Mo tell her to stop hiding
at home and say that the Slaters have nothing to be ashamed of -
they've forgotten Sullen already?

LadyDen and Exposition Girl Amanda continue to plot their evil
schemes. They manage to get O-Den to sign over half the pub to
LadyDen. LadyDen needs to sort her roots/extensions out. The drains in
the Vic block up and O-den discovers a handy hatch in the cellar floor
- where (spoiler) he will soon be rotting in hell, no doubt. O-Den has
told Teen to stay away from the Vow Ceremony so LadyDen goes round to
ask her to come over. Teen says no so LadyDen says "thanks a lot,
bitch, some friend you are!" Teen starts crying and saying that she
doesn't want the baby and LadyDen's ears prick up. She starts saying
supportive things about how no-one will judge her if she doesn't want
to keep the baby. Teen cheers up and considers fostering. LadyDen
"doh!!" She says it is OK if Teen stays away and that LadyDen will be
there for her and then runs back to Amanda and says that she felt
sorry for Teen, too bad to go through the "Ruining Teen's Life" scheme
and that now she is wracked with doubt etc about the whole thing.

They get ready for the vows while LadyDen agonises. LadyDen puts on a
kind of lacy silver/blue dress with rose/cleavage action. Amanda says
that if LadyDen goes through with the Vows, she can try and arrange so
that LadyDen gets all of O-den's money, not just half - but that if
Teen has a baybay there is a chance that O-Den will give all his money
to the kid. LadyDen says she has a cunning plan.

Charlie persuades Teen to go to the Vow ceremony. Dot is offered a
glass of champagne and says "I never touch alcohol, but as it's a
special occasion" That was quite funny the first 50 times she said it.
LadyDen comes down late and spots Teen in the crowd. She pauses
dramatically but then goes through with the Vow Renewal and doesn't
make a fuss at all.