WHO PUT THE SHAM IN SHAMALAMADINGDONG
It's time for Fill's bail hearing, and he wants to see Sham. Super Lawyer Marcus buys Sham a Little Lady Lawyer outfit and tells her to pretend to be a junior solicitor assigned to Fill's case. After all, nobody could possibly think that a pretty blonde with all her own teeth could be related to Mr Potato Head. Sham hotfoots it to the court, pausing only to growl at Denman and Shazza Girl Detective.

Shazza Girl Detective works out that Sham doesn't know that Lisa has run off with MiniFill and takes a break from moving house to go and give O-Den a hard time and question Kyert about Fill's Big Fit-up.

Denman's fringe is all curly and needs cutting. He offers support to Kyert in her hour of need - obviously it must be difficult to carry on having freakish incest sex with Shazza while O-Den's around. Kyert gets bothered by Billy and tells him to get lost.

Now, the Wattses are supposed to be moving into Fill's old house, but nobody seems to be doing much in the way of moving. Vickney has been packed off to Italy (wha...?); O-Den's busy nicking white label champers from the nightclub; Denman's sniffing around poor Kyert and Shazza's Girl Detective-ing all over the place. So, invisible magic pixies pack up Shazza's flat, and teleport the furniture over to Nueva Casa Watts just in time for Shazza to apologise to O-Den about doubting him and thinking he was involved in Fill's Big Fit Up.

Interlude: Drippy gets help with her crossword from the only person she ever serves in the pub without spilling anything ("The indefinite article, or first letter of the alphabet. One letter...oooh...that's hard innit?"). Fool makes a comment about Bloke fancying Drippy, and Drippy starts worrying about flaunting herself in her V-neck sweater and maybe she should start come to work in a giant sack with armholes cut in it so that nobody gets any funny ideas. Slutty tells her that slutty behaviour is part of the job, and not to worry about it.

Fool asks Ian to do the catering for the next Slater wedding. Ian refuses, but then changes his mind and gets Shazza to stump up for the booze. Yawn. Next.

TriniDad and Yolande spend their money making the B&B living room even more hideous than before, then dance about, lighting cigars with £50 notes and stuff.

edit: The electrics at the garage go kaput for unexplained reasons, and Gary Neville is cup-tied or something so he can't fix it. Rickay gives AGarry the day off, then tells Sullen and Simpleton, who now both expect a good servicing. OK, I'm stopping here while I can still hold on to the contents of my stomach.

Back to the Fill action. Fill tells Sham that he was fitted up by the Dens and Lisa probably had something to do with it too. Sham tells him that Kyert gave MiniFill to Lisa, and Fill officially hands over managership of the Evil Empire to Sham. Sham's all nervous and reluctant until she realises that the Little Lady Lawyer outfit could serve quite nicely as a Gangster Barbie suit if she got a decent pair of trousers and a few shirts. She struts back into the Square and swears hideous revenge all Wattses everywhere. Then she goes home and throws Kyert out for being disloyal to the Mitchell Cause.

Fill wastes his one phone call of the day by phoning up O-Den in his new house and hissing "Wattses stole our house and fitted us up....we hates them! We hates them forever! Grrrr!"