MAGNUM KYERT
Kyert has fifteen minutes to get an accomplice's name out of Fill, otherwise Birthday Girl Marsden will taunt her about her Stockholm Syndrome problem for evermore. Yes folks, you guessed it. It's an EE two-hander.

Well, not quite, Shazza shouts at O-Den and poor Denman, so O-Den goes off to give Squeaky the good news. Squeaky is packing untidily and for some reason looks a lot like Mariah Carey's pudgy (but equally mad) older sister. Squeaky is shocked. So shocked that O-Den has to remind her that she is MiniFill's mother and therefore is perfectly entitled to go and get MiniFill while Fill is in chokey. Get a grip, woman! Once O-Den hands over a wodge of the night's earnings, Squeaky catches herself on, and goes with O-Den to claim MiniFill. Perhaps the poor kid will get a decent haircut now.

It must be the grey walls, the damp or the smell of disinfectant mixed with urine, because being in the interview room suddenly turns Kyert into HoneyTrapper/Interrogator/Good Cop/Bad Cop/Dirty Kyerty all rolled into one. Fill changes his story about ten million times. First he was just going to meet a bloke in a factory car park in the middle of nowhere on snooker hall business when suddenly there was a blinding light, and aliens in black leather jackets beamed him into the wages office, put a gun and a big bag of cash in his hand, and forced him to beat up a security guard. Then the aliens vanished and he was surrounded by the Armed Response team. No really, honest!

Yeah well, Kyert eventually gets the truth, Fill, the truth, out of him. He sulks, stomps, blusters and tries to get arsey about Squeaky and Shazz coming over to see Kyert, but she's having none of it. As far as Kyert is concerned, he has wasted a whole year of her life with his LIES. Then Fill says it's all Squeaky's fault because everything was fine until she came along and ruined his life by being alive and all. He nearly stamps his foot and starts crying like a big girl, but Kyert's mascara is running, and she has to leave. Fill begs her to look after MiniFill and keep her away from Squeaky, but Marsden starts with the taunting as soon as Kyert leaves the room, so Kyert runs home.

Back at Casa Mitchell, Squeaky is wrestling with MiniFill/Brianetta Sewell and telling Rickay that she's going to take her baybay back now. Kyert comes home and helps Squeaky into the cab, handing her the Blue Bunny of Destiny and wishing her luck.

Meanwhile, Sham is demanding to see Fill at the station, but the police have had enough Mitchells for one night and tell her he's sleeping. Fill is sad.

O-Den watches all from his window (Shazza is sulking at the club, and god only knows where Vickney is). Denman kind of likes this avenging angel father/son gig, and I quite like his hair all boyish and tousled.