I SAW DADDY KISSING ROSA KLEBB
The post-wedding weirdness continues...Fool and Slutty (who would like to proclaim her respectable status and be known as Mrs Fool, but she'll always be Slutty to us) take Ethel 2.0 on their honeymoon to Margate. In the middle of winter. There is a word for this kind of behaviour, but it is very offensive and it begins with "P". Oh well, maybe it's a post-modern commentary on the nature of the honeymoon, and hopefully they'll try and flog Ethel 2.0 to the Tracey Emin museum.

Bazza carries on eating. Juhneen orders him to go for a run to try and burn off at least some of the flab. So he jogs to the Kwik E Mart and buys a Terrys White Chocolate Orange. Doktor Boden-Shirt catches him stuffing chocolate orange goodness into his gob, and whisks him off to the surgery for some Bad News. Bazza has an enlarged heart (my mum's cat died of that), and he's going to have to go for more tests. Bazza looks up the wrong disease on the InterWeb and thinks he's going to die. Half an hour later he beats David Blunkett et al at Celebrity Mastermind. Who'd have thought it, eh?

Sullen corners AGarry and tells him that it's Boxing Day, therefore time to dump Simpleton and the Simplet. AGarry has been landed with babysitting duties while Simpers does the sales with Pat, so he invites Sullen over to the family bedsit. Little does he know that the Bealemeister has him in his evil sights and is ready to do mischief. Ian taunts Simpleton about AGarry's reputation, and then cooks up some excuse to send her back to the bedsit in time to find Sullen and AGarry doing the nasty on her bed. Ew...ewww and thrice ewww.

Las Bencheros de las Perdidos are piled high with the Teen Muppets, discussing next week's Och-Aye-The-Noo Muppets in Kilts jaunt. Martin can't get train tickets, and they can't hire cars because they're all muppets and nobody would lend them a vehicle. Moomin's hairstyle now has flicky ends, and she keeps patting Martin on the knee encouragingly. Enter Mickey the Finhead, who twinkles at Kareena a bit, and then says he's got a full-on minibus for hire. Umm...yeah? OK, say the Muppets. This is, of course, the Minibus of Doom that we've been hearing so much about.

Kyert knows that Denman and O-Den did her a favour and set up Fill, but for some reason she's cross about this, and tells Denman so. Weird woman.

Meanwhile, Gay Pike discovers that Poline not only bought the Pikelets presents just in case, but she also saved his letters and gave them to Man-Faced Daughter. He's in the middle of giving her a really horrible time about it when Man-Faced Daughter appears at the door, full of love and forgiveness. Then Homophobic Son appears with Impossibly Blonde Grandson, and there's more angry words followed by tearful reconciliations. Poline beams down on all this from the kitchen door like some over-made-up Christmas tree fairy.