THE SILENCE OF THE COWS

This one carries on straight from Thursday, Shazza bangs her plump little hands against the window but Squeaky makes a determined face and drives off for her APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH!! Shazza grabs her phone and thinks about calling the cops, but then calls O-Den instead. He tells her to look for some spare keys and comes over to bust her out. Shazza looks around the flat, leafs through some magazines (Autumn Looks for the Femme Assassin!) and finds a bit of paper with a clue on (ie the location of the tunnel). O-Den breaks into Squeaky's flat using a sonic screwdriver or something and Shazza pleads with him to go and save Fill. O-Den reluctantly agrees.

Shirley calls the police. One of the policemen is pretty cute. They tell her to keep a diary too. Shirley says she can get Drippy and Billy to be witnesses to Gavin's Evil-tude but then is gutted to hear that they are moving out. She puts her flat on the market too.

Trinidad is sick of Yolande floating round doing all the housework, shagging him and singing hymns etc. He tells her that she is smothering him and that actually, no, he didn't write that soppy letter. Yolande is devastated and leaves. doh, I liked her.

Asif, MY Gus and Martin are having a drinking session to celebrate Asif going to Uni. billy says that going to Uni makes you gay - shut up billy. Billy and AGary end up having a drinking competiton with the teen muppets (oh good, we get to see Martin's ace drunk acting) and various other teen muppets join in (Karina, Kellay, DJ Ross, Scalliq, Teen). Scalliq tries to make out with DJ ross, even though Teen is sitting on his lap. Kellay is jealous (still!) so she snogs Martin. Billy and Garry are scolded by their women and have to leave. That's about it.

Squeaky arrives at the Tunnel of Doom and kicks a bit of cardboard to show us how badass she is. She goes into the tunnel and starts fashioning a fake cloth baby out of all the baby clothes she's been stealing. She has arranged for Fill to meet her here, I suppose. O-Den shows up and Squeaky mutters "Shazza! Foiled again!" - well, you're the one her left her with her phone, thicko. She tells O-Den to leave and that there's nothing he can say to make her change her mind. O-Den tries some "killing is bad, m'kayyy" type nonsense but Squeaky finds some dramatic moody lighting to stand in and gives a long speech about how when fill took away her baybay she felt really bad blah blah and now she wants to finish it for good. She goes on about how cows cry when they take the calfs away. You can still hear the cows crying, can't you Clariccceee? O-Den explains that Squeaky might win in the short term but that Louise will hate her when she finds out that Squeaky killed Fill so she'll lose her in the long run anyway. Damn, defeated again by the power of soliliquy! Squeaky aims the gun at Fill for a bit but then drops it on the floor and starts squeaking and gibbering like the old Squeaky that we know and find quite irritating. Fill is by now standing outside the tunnel. He hears all the meeping noises and goes into the tunnel but is frightened by a stray random owl (?!) and runs away before he stumbles across Squeaky or the Denster. O-Den makes his eyes go all dead and scary and says that there are lots of other cool evil things they can do to make Fill suffer. Oh yes, so many things....