SHIRLEY'S BEATS ARE JAM HOT
Drippy chats to Fool about Ethel 2.0's off-camera mentalism (later on Fool talks to Doktor Boden-Shirt (who is wearing a suit this time) and agrees to pay top moolah so that Ethel can jump the queue and get a private brain scan) and also about Fool's Secret Love for Slutty. (btw, now that Drippy is the Sensible One, what purpose does Sullen serve?) Fool mentions that Byrite Andy is a crim and Drippy says that Slutty must be told. Um, how can you marry someone when you don't even know what they do for a living? Fool plants seeds of doubt in Slutty's fragile, tiny mind and when Andy next shows up (wearing a styling beige Austin Reed style ensemble) she asks him about his job. He admits that he is not 100% legal but Slutty doesn't mind anyway.

Juhneen moans to Bad Brutha about having to submit to Baz's base desires all the time. Hey Juhneen, Jon Bon Jovi called from 1985 and he wants his hair back. bad Brutha suggests that they find a non-sexy way to tire Baz out so Bad Brutha makes Baz feel insecure about his super-lardiness and takes him exercising. Cue lots of scenes of Baz bellowing and pulling mad faces while he aerobicizes and feels the burn etc. Unfortunately it just makes him hornier than ever, only now he is both horny and really, really sweaty.

The Kellay/Teen plot unravels with crushing predictability. Kellay has crises of conscience and confides in MY Gus (Gus 4 Kellay!) who is carrying Moomin's mantle of saintliness and says that Kellay should be honest, mm'kay. In the end Kellay tells Teen that DJ Ross "stuck his tongue darn some slapper's froat" and Teen says "you're just jealous because I've got a boyfriend and you haven't" and stomps out. Kellay: sad. Me: bored.

Shirley and the Ferriera Kidz carry on their psychological warfare against Evil Gavin. They carry on playing loud dance music but when the Environmental Health come round they quickly hide the sound system behind some camouflage like in that Captain Birdseye advert and pretend to be having a reading group discussing Jane Eyre. Gavin tries to foil their plan by asking Shirley a question about the book. She says something really vague that could apply to any classic work of literature and so the council Blokes look at Gavin like he is mental and leave. Ash gets a boner that Shirley can form trite opinions about O level set texts and offers to "lend her a Jean Rhys book". Is that what the young people are calling it nowadays? Later on they turn up the loud music again and Gavin makes comical scowly faces.

Shazza moans at O-Den for getting it on with Sham. I wonder if O-Den uses that spray-on hair out of a can? Squeaky spends the whole episode drinking licquor and making a show of herself. Her tidy assassin hair has now reverted back to frazzly co-dependent hair and she gibbers and squeaks alot. She also moans at O-Den for being more interested in boning Sham than in vanquishing Fill and later goes up to strange men in the club and says that they can know her biblically if they will agree to kill Fill for her. I think that someone has a rather high opinion as to how sexy they are, eh Squeaky? O-Den sends her home and Denman puts her in a cab. They get back to Squeaky's bedsit and Squeaky puts the moves on Denman, rubbing against him lewdly and breathing industrial strength gin fumes in his face. Nice. She drunkenly mutters something about O-Den agreeing to kill Fill and Denman says "you what?" and instantly goes into psycho-staring, super intense mode.