ASH: STUD
Harlot Dot is caught buying new sheets for the double bed - scandal! Jim wants them to go to bed at 3pm but Dot keeps putting him off and watches a TV program which, of course, is all about animals mating etc. Jim makes comedy "I'm going to get a bit of how's your father" faces and Dot makes comedy "sex is dirty and wrong" faces. Jim suggests that they return the double bed and go back to single beds and Dot instantly falls for his cheap reverse psychology. They end up in bed together holding hands. Let us hope that that is an end to the matter because I certainly don't want to have half an episode devoted to the first time Jim slips it in.

Everyone admires Slutty's engagement ring. Slutty's hair is different and makes her look a bit wierd. Slutty asks Fool if they are still best mates. He says yes whilst making a sad heartbroken face. Again. Byrite Andy spends the whole episode rambling on about his dead mum. Oh, this isn't a good sign. I bet he's still got her mummified body stored in the spare bedroom at Chigwell. Slutty and Drippy chat and Drippy asks if it is all too quick and whether she really lurves Andy. Slutty says that they probably won't get married for a year or so anyway. Andy comes up and says "lets get married in november on the anniversary of my mum's death" (creee-peeee). Maybe he has the number of Fill and Kyert's impossibly quick wedding planner. Slutty folds like a cheap suit and agrees. Sigh.

Poline tries to get Pike to talk about his Secret Marriage Shame but he doesn't.

Sham is back off her holiday. She asks Shazza if she still has a job and Shazza says "yes of course". At the club, O-Den totally checks out Sham's rack and they flirt annoyingly. Squeaky comes to work and her and Sham have a little spat about how the other one shouldn't be working there. O-Den is throwing his weight around and makes them rearrange the bar and look at their margins etc. Squeaky keeps folding her arms and making spiteful faces and saying "Are we going to vanquish Fill to day? Are we? Are we?" O-Den says she has to be patient and goes and puts more moves on Sham. Later on they throw out a drug dealer and decide that the club is a den of hop-heads and speed-freaks basically because they see someone else dancing like a mentalist. They decide that drugs are bad, mmmkay, and it must be stopped.

It turns out Shirley spent the night on the Ferriera's couch after Ash took her to the hospital. Dadvis is a prick and throws her out though. Evil gavin proves that he is evil by littering and then being mean to Gus when Gus tells him off. He says he sees a rat and that he will report Gus to the market inspector. Dude, he's a street cleaner not the pied piper of Hamelin. Ash tries to have a civilised word with Gavin about the noise but later when him and shirley are having some chips in S's flat, Gavin puts on
"Now That's What I Call AntiSocial Unneighbourly Rock Music, Vol 4" again. Ash is going to go and have another word when Gavin barges in and starts basically going "ha ha, you fancy her!" Ash grabs Gavin's lapels in a manly stylee and Gavin goes "I'll have you for assault!" Ash lets him go and makes melodramatic "foiled!" faces.