DOUBLE DIM-DENMAN-TY

Trini-dad is sad that his Carribean Queen has stopped writing to him. He gets maudlin drunk with Jim and they say the names of fish in a lascivious manner. Don't ask me. In the end Jim goes off and suddenly there is a knock on the door and there is Yolande! She has left her hubby to be with Trini-dad in Walford, the poor fool. Trini-dad is shocked.

The doctor arrives to assess Ethel 2.0. Perhaps working at the Vic comes with hella cool health insurance because I can't see why else a consultant would make a house call. The doctor is an Irish lady with choppy Clairol hair dye ad type hair. Fool and Backstreet are lovably sexist about a doctor! who's a lady! Dr says that Ethel may have had some micro-strokes that have caused her to go batty. She has to do more tests.

Slutty still feels rejected by the Moons and their top secret mentalism. She goes off to Brighton (Sodom of the South) with Byrite Andy. Charlie compliments Andy's penismobile so Andy gives him a West Ham season ticket. Is that like Slutty's dowry or something?

DJ Ross and Teen are all happy happy joy joy because they finally had a shag. Scalliq is all desperate to hear about the sex because of his gay love for DJ Ross. Kellay says she doesn't mind and then flounces passive-aggressively round the stall and sighs for three hours. The teen muppet boys want to go to some club so Martin steals money from the stall to get them in and falsifies the books. Three words Martin: "Gross Profit Percentage"

Drippy emotionally blackmails Billy into going to fess up at the insurance company. It turns out that Posh Drag Slater is going to a spa for a week and wants Drippy to go too.

Gavin menaces Shirley by placing sinister bets at the bookies. Tracey has a line! ("Can you change the barrel, Fill, it says here") I bet she is the one paying Gavin to be mean to Shirley.

Fill is beset by foes. Denman keeps popping up and disappearing like the scary midget in "Don't Look now" Fill goes crying and telling tales to Andy but Andy doesn't care and tells Fill to stop being such a whiney bitch. When he gets home Fill finds Squeaky having tea with Kyert. He squeals "What's that? Cake? No cake for Squeaky!" Ha ha ha, what a total idiot. Squeaky makes a sarcastic face (like "enjoy your cake, while you're still ALIVE!!!)"and leaves. She is still wearing that dark purple nail varnish from boots no 7 "murderous ultravixen" range. Later on Kyert phones and says that Squeaky can see Lou every thursday. Lisa thanks her and then practices evil smiles in the mirror. Fill goes off to the Vic and has to change a barrel as Fool is busy supervising the lady doctor (who ever heard of such a thing!). Denman appears from behind a different barrel and shouts at Fill for grassing him up to Andy about killing Mad Frankie Knuckles. They scuffle lamely and then Denman says they have to have a fight to settle it. Handbags at dawn! Are they 12 or something? oh well, maybe Denman will take his shirt off.