TRULY, MADDHUR-LY, DEEPLY

Vickney sits on Losers Bench with no make-up and a single, perfectly formed tear rolling down her cheek. She later moans to Denman and Shazza that she doesn't know why she has to leave just because Michelle says so, especially as "Michelle" patently no longer exists. She runs off to the tube station and meets Dr Perv, who has been crying in the B&B and stumbling round like a zombie (no change there then...). They have a long boring talk and Vickney decides to face up to her responsibilities and not run away. They pack her off to the airport in the Black Cab of Finality. Typical, they get rid of her just as she stops being really annoying and wooden. Backstreet sees the cab drive away and pulls a gurny face.

Juhneen and Baz-Ra celebrate ripping off Pat. Baz mentions that the house is going to be held in trust for Jack so Juhneen pulls out all the stops and starts going on about how hot it is etc etc. She strips down to her halter top, lets her hair down and tries t entice Baz to have a bath with her or something. After about ten hours of uber-minx Juhneen writhing around and sucking her fingers, Baz-Ra finally realises that he is being flirted with and looks, well, constipated.

Kellay snogs DJ Ross a lot and agrees to look after the stall while all the Ferriera Kidz go to Maddhur's birthday. Adi meets some tall blonde woman he knows who looks like a streetwalker version of Martina Navratilova and chats to her, later on Dadvis finds one of the presents for Maddhur and Adi pretends it is for Martina, who is his pretend girlfriend. All the other kids pull faces and look at each other. Dude, he is so going to be gay. They go to the birthday while dadvis has an elvis audition. Maddhur rants on about Dadvis being a mentalist and then Ash starts accusing her of being heartless. DJ Ross shouts "Just leave it!" in a really actorly way. They all get back to Walford just in the nick of time.

All the Slaters are cross or something. Annoying gary is looking at West Ham romper suits.

Slutty pretends that she stood up Fool because she sprained her ankle but it is all a tissue of lies. Fool finds out but doesn't make a big deal out of it. These two are kind of annoying together what with all the giggling etc. Slutty promises to make it up to him later. Later on Bad Brother lets slip that Slutty spent the night with Dr Perv. Fool looks troubled.