SIMPERS SPAWNED A MONSTER

Pat is at the cash and carry and therefore cut off from human contact (?) so Simpleton emotionally blackmails Annoying Gary into coming to the orspital with her. A-Gal says "no, no!" but is unable to resist Simpleton' steely will. Billy and Drippy take Louise for a walk round the park and talk about having a baby of their own and whether they will ever get a decent storyline again. Billy spots A-Gal driving off with Simpleton. Ruh Roh!

That lady copper comes round to question Fill about the moider. He goes down to the station and waits for his dodgy lawyer to show up. Psycho nanny tries to sow seeds of doubt in Kyert's mind while he is gone but doesn't realise that Kyert is even more mental than she is. The lady copper knows all about Kyert and Mad Frankie Knuckles etc etc but Fill comes up with an alibi. The cop goes round and Kyert lies and confirms it (with a few minor differences). Lady cop is cross. When he gets home, Fill proposes to Kyert and she says "why aye!"

Denman nearly goes on the run but the giant hypnotic poster of Den Sr in Shazza's flat keeps him in Walford.

Poline and Pike discuss hiring the club for Martin's 18th surprise birthday party. Martin arranges to have it at Kellay/Teen's instead. Poline is cross and shows signs of getting sick of his lazy crim ways. It looks like Kell and Teen are friends again.

Dadvis and Shirley have a drink in the Vic with all the kids standing, like 10 feet away, talking about them really obviously. Dadvis introduces them all and Kareena makes gurny faces. DJ Ross stares gimpily at Teen all evening.

Billy tries to furtively phone Gary and make him come home. Sullen has planned a special evening out to celebrate Gary being a deadbeat dad. She puts on loads of make up and a halter top dress that makes her look like a broad shouldered trannie. Drippy overhears Billy and makes him tell all and then goes and grassses A-Gary up to Sullen. Meanwhile A-Gary has tormented paternal feelings at the hospital. Pat shows up eventually. Meanwhile Simpleton has a typical TV birth (ie produces a 6 month old baby in about ten minutes) and makes Gary hold him. The freak genetic experiment shows no obvious signs of mutation but who knows what terrible satanic powers it might have? Gary leaves, crying, and gets home just after Sullen has left to stay with Posh Slater. Gary runs around the square crying (again) and shouting "Sullen! Sullen!" That's right, cretin, she's hiding behind the post box...