LOCK STOCK AND TWO STEAMING BOLLOCKS

Trini-Dad sets up Dadvis with that blonde lady who works in the bookies. They have a nice drink in the Vic and she agrees to go to the wedding with him. It turns out that she is a sad lonely spinster, which is handy. In the background, Barmaid Tracey can be heard grinding her teeth and muttering "It should have been me!" I bet she ends up pushing New Blonde Lady down a flight of stairs, like in the classic film "Showgirls".

Juhneen and Bad Brutha keep sneaking off to mack on each other and plot the downfall of Bazza. At lunch time Baz gives Juhneen a pendant that looks like it is made from a bit of tin foil. Juhneen hugs him while looking BB in the eye, the minx. Later on, Baz prattles on to BB like a delusionoid, saying that Juhneen is all woman and only Barry can tame her. Even later on, BB says to Juhneen - "I used to feel sorry for Barry but now I realise what an idiot he is." They laugh, evilly.

Sonya has her interview at the orspital. It makes her think of Jaymee and be sad, but then Jim cheers her up. zzzz.

Slutty and Fool no longer act like shy pandas with each other. Now they act like repressed Victorian people who will faint if they touch each others discarded gloves or whatever.

Kellay skips around going "la la la, I'm really happy!" Secret gayer Scalliq lurks around making snide comments about Kellay's ho-riffic past. Teen tells Kellay that Scalliq Knows The Truth. They all run around trying to get to DJ Ross first but Scalliq wins and tells him. DJ Ross is shocked and appalled. Scalliq is pretty good at playing a dead eyed rat, I have to say. when Kellay (whose acting has also improved markedly) arrives, Dj Ross says "Have you given me the clap, skank?" and dumps her. Kellay is sad. Scalliq goes off with DJ Ross to try and get him drunk enough to have his way with him. Maybe.

Fill fondles his gun and looks troubled. He confesses to Minty (fresh out of the plot cupboard) and, after considerately offering to whack Denman himself, Minty suggests that he give Denman a good reason to leave the manor. Fill offers Denman a job in Newcastle (?) but Denman says "uh, I don't think so." They both glower at each other manlily. Fill goes to Mad Frankie Knuckles and begs not to have to kill Den, as it would piss off shazza and it is really hard to find a good babysitter nowadays. MFK says it is either den or Kyert. He has got really weird eyebrows. Denman is all nice to Shazza and gives her an engraved bracelet etc. Later, he is tidying up at the club when Fill appears, gun drawn, ready to pop a cap into Den's ass....