JUH-NEEN...YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT ON THE RED LIGHT
Oooh...Juhneen is baaad. She sneaks out of the B&B at dawn, lets herself into Chez Evans, and is showered, shaved and cooking breakfast for Bazza before you can say "dirty little stopout". Later she reveals to Bad Brutha her eeevil plan to seduce Bazza and take all his money, just in case we hadn't worked it out already - but then most of this country seems to think that BB Cameron is a nice bloke, so you can never underestimate the intelligence of the Great British Public. Bad Brutha and Juhneen cackle evilly on Bazza's nasty sofa.

Kellay is meeting Dadvis for the first time, so she takes the afternoon off to get her hair done. Teen is cross, and bitches to a not-very-sympathetic Slutty, who tells her to get a grip. Dadvis's non-comedy plot continues when TriniDad recommends Poline as a possible date for this wedding thing and to show DJ Ross that he can still pull the laydeez. Maybe TriniDad whispered that Poline used to be Miss Brahms and had a hit in the 60s with Come Outside . Dadvis and Poline engage in a fairly comic chat-up sequence which ends when Poline chases him out of the launderette. Several scantily clad blondes then chase Dadvis in speeded-up stop-motion around Loser's Bench and somebody slaps a bald ugly bloke - oops sorry, went into Benny Hill world for a second there. Poline should get more comedy.

The meeting with Kellay doesn't go very well. She doesn't know who Billy Fury is, has horrible 19th century floozy hair and spills Dadvis's beer. Teen mutters to Slutty about Kellay's prozzy past, and Scalliq overhears. Scalliq, by the way, is also jealous of Kellay because maybe he's the secret gayer and he loves DJ Ross, I dunno. But anyway, he's going to use this info to ruin things between DJ Ross and Kellay because he's a scoundrel and a rotter.

UKyert has a cold, and this means that Shazza has to take Mini Fill for the day. The woman is a Blonde Mentalist, Fill. She's madder than Squeaky, ferchrissakes. UKyert doesn't seem to mind at all that Fill's ex (for whom he nearly killed his brother) keeps poking her Blonde Mentalist nose in.

AGarry gives the West Ham Relegation Special romper suit to Simpleton, who also asks him if he wouldn't mind building the baybay's mail order cot when it arrives (an IKEA special is it?). Sullen doesn't know, of course.

More East End gangsta nonsense. Denman holds out for the full 20K from MFK and gets it. As soon as Denman leaves to share the money with his bitch, MFK calls Fill Mitchell and tells him to kill Denman. Duh da duh duh!