THIS IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE/ WHEN PERVS CRY

Shazza, Denman and Poline talk about how much they miss Vickney. Denman chats to Poline about Den Sr and they debate as to whether he was "Backstreet" or not. heh. Denman pretends that he isn't that interested in Den Sr when shazza finds out, but later he looks at shazza's photo album - I suppose that this is so people actually recognise fucking Lesley Grantham when they drag his sorry ass back onto the soap.

Dr Perv watches mad TV programs about ants and twitches like a loon. Trini-dad and Bad brutha try to drag him down to the pub but he just twitches harder and says "No! Must. Watch. TV!" Bad Brutha sits him down for a proper talk and Dr P starts ranting on about how he always did what was expected of him when instead he wanted to Sing! and Dance! (not really). In the end he joins BB and T-Dad in the pub and announces that he is leaving tomorrow and going to run away and join the circus or something. Hurrah! Get lost, you wooden, bad acting, bastard! T-Dad starts whimpering "no! he can't leave!" Oh, don't you start. Barmaid Tracey gets to say about 5 words.

Nat and her new, giant hair drops off Jack for a visit and squints suspiciously at Juhneen. Juhneen puts on some tight clothes, cooks a special dinner and laughs at Baz's retarded jokes. she kisses his sweaty jowl and then runs off to wipe her mouth. heh. Barry actually amuses me for once by doing a Roger Moore style eyebrow manouevre.

Kellay begs Teen to let her have the flat for herself so she can shag DJ Ross. teen is sad that everyone has a man apart from her. Dadvis whitters on about having some hot babe to take to the family wedding that is coming up. DJ Ross wants to take Kellay. Adi wants to take a MAN (maybe).

Sullen helps Slutty get ready for her hot date with fool. slutty goes on about how Fool makes her feel shiny and new, touched for the very first time etc. Sullen says that fool is Special - Special Needs, more like. Fool mopes around thinking about slutty's sluttiness. Fill tells him to get a fucking grip and stop being such a hypocrite. Dude, you know you're in trouble when Fill is the voice of reason. They go for a romantic Indian meal and Slutty is a bit rude and flirts with some orange faced bloke on the next table. Fool makes the fatal mistake of asking Slutty if she shagged Dr Perv the other night. Slutty is gutted that Fool thinks that she is such a slagggg and points out that he never told her how many birds he had had. she stomps off leaving Fool alone with his chicken madras.