SLUTTY IS CAUGHT BETWEEN A MOON AND WALFORD CITY (I KNOW IT'S CRAZY! BUT IT'S TRUE!)

Dr Perv has gone on the lam after operating on some lady while drunk and dropping his kebab into her chest cavity or whatever. Bad Bro and Trini-Dad search for him and find him sitting on a step, pulling wimpy faces. They bring him home and he has a hilarious bratty fit (including pulling a tablecloth so that all Trini-Dad's playing cards and tiddly winks fall on the floor). He says that actually they killed her for making him go out for a drink and not get enough sleep. Oh grow up, dr Perv. Trini-Dad is shocked and apalled. In the end Bad-Bro gives Dr Perv a severe talking to and he calms down, but then he finds out that the dead woman's family are saying he is negligent and that he is still in big trouble.

Slutty buys a remote control sports car for Fool for some reason. I spend the rest of the episode pondering the semiotic significance of a gift that is a phallic symbol that is remote controlled.

Some pinched face geezer with an indie hairdo and indie anorak shows up. He is one of Denmans prison buddies (I am guessing that he was the lady and denman was the man, if you know what I mean). Anyway, he is really skint and his l'il girl is sick and he has a great idea for a scam to get some money from the bloke what put them away or something. Denman says he'll think about it.

Vickney mopes around. Blonde Mentalist Shazza keeps shoving ikea cot catalogues under her nose, Poline shows her baby photos (and a really minging one of teenage Mark aka Tucker) whilst going on about how her life will be over once she has had her kid. BMShazza convinces Backstreet to talk Vickney out of the abortion but then Vickney sees Backstreet and Shazza exchanging thumbs up after the conversation and feels betrayed. She sits on the Swings of contemplation where the director inexplicably treats us to a few seconds of Vickney-cam swing-o-vision. Um thanks director. Denman comes by and says that only she can make the decision and that he will stand by her whatever she wants. Vickney gives him a big hug.

Kareena (who is turning into something of an annoying little madam) moans at Prof Ash for issuing smackdowns to Scalliq. Ash: "I did it for you!" Dadvis overhears and starts pontificating on about how he is the only one qualified to give out lurve advice. Later on he has another talk to charlie about being a widower and single dad and all. The Ferrieras spend the whole day sulking and texting each other and making each other watch the stall. Ash, please stop wearing all those nasty ass beige tops. Ash discovers that Kareena is going to meet Scalliq and runs off to threaten him some more. Kareena starts moaning yet again so Ash tells her about the Blackmail Jacket Scam, but Kareena thinks he is lying and runs off. she reappears in some council estate and knocks on the door. Maddhur Jaffrey answers! Awesome! But this is no time to learn how to make a curry! Actually it turns out that Madhur is Kareena's mum! Dun dun Dunnnnn!