A LONG DEN'S JOURNEY INTO NIGHT
Denman bumps into Psycho Nanny, who drops her shopping and a copy of the local rag: front page headline "Mad Frankie Knuckles Moidered!". Psycho Nanny is cross and tries to cheer herself up by flirting with Fill. Fill doesn't notice, so Psycho Nanny ruins dinner and retreats to Loser's Bench with a vodka alcopop. Den turns up and they have a sympathy shag on Shazza's sofa (why doesn't he take Vickney's old room?).

Juhneen: "Buy me a car Barry. Barry, buy me a car. Car...I mean Cor...Barry, wouldn't it be nice if I had a car." Bad Brutha steps in, hints that Juhneen might get her kit off for Baz if she gets a car. Bazza buys a car. Bad Brutha and Juhneen smirk evilly.

Simpleton is about to drop. AGarry hasn't put the cot together properly (idiot should have gone to Mothercare), but he says he can't fix it because he loves Sullen and he wants to be a father to Sullen's non-existent babies, not Simpleton's freak genetic experiment. As if by magic, Simpleton goes into labour. AGarry looks conflicted. Stop dithering and call the community midwife, fuckwit.

Teen tries to tell DJ Ross that Kellay isn't a pros any more and she really really loves him. Kellay interprets this as Teen making like a vulture, because I seem to remember she really is that stupid.

Now that UKyert is completely in his thrall, Fill tries the surprise airline tickets gambit again (Seychelles this time) . It works! Emboldened by his success, he digs out Auntie Dragon's old ring and proposes to Kyert again. Glutton for punishment or what?

Dadvis gets ready for his hot date with Betting Shop Lady. His children mock him and his bootlace tie and silver-tipped collars. They think he's hired a pro for the evening (oh, hi Kellay! Are you my new mummy now?). I know he's a bit tubby, but that shirt should really have been tucked in, and not left hanging out like he forgot. And the jeans are a bit spidey. Betting Shop Lady is late, but she shuts the kids up for a nanosecond, so Dadvis doesn't mind.