DEN'S PRETTY FACE IS SHOT TO HELL
I found discussing life insurance and mortgage options with my husband more interesting that last night's ep, so please forgive the sketchiness.

Denman's bitch is getting worried about this money that they're going to extort from Mad Frankie Knuckles, but Denman tells him not to worry his pretty little head. Denman's pretty head, however, is worried. Dot sees that he's "troubled" and they talk about Den being a nice bloke really- a lying, cheating gangster with a thing for schoolgirls, but he was good to Dot, which makes him alright. Some bloke in a nice suit appears with an envelope of cash, with which he lures Denman into a dark alley. But there's only £2,000, which is not alright, according to Denman. Suit man nods to a handy thug and walks away. Minutes later, Denman runs out of the alley, leaving Handy Thug looking a bit ill, nicks Suit man's rather dull (for an East End gangsta) car and drives to MFK. While bleeding picturesquely in MFK's Rothko-esque office, Denman tells MFK it's not good enough and he wants the full twenty grand or he goes to the cops and he really really means it this time. MFK goes "Grrrr" again and his eyes do that poppy thing.

More non-comedy antics as TriniDad tries to find a date for Dadvis. Dadvis wants Shazzatella, but TriniDad introduces him to Pat. Oh, my sides. Dr Perv phones with an update on his travels - like we care or something. He's in Estonia - getting stared at and being asked to sing that Estonian Eurovision hit, most probably.

Kellay is in love with DJ Ross, and is going to meet the rellies. Teen is sad that nobody loves her. Mr P wants Kellay shot.

Mafia Martin discovers that Asif is Moving On. He's got a summer job in a key shop, and is making plans for University already. Martin calls him a boring old square and tries to persuade him to come down to the allotments to drink Diamond White and shout at old people. Gay Pike returns and shouts at Poline for letting Martin run wild like a 60s delinquent. Poline is cross.

Weird Central has moved to the Evans house. Juhneen decides to wash all the cars down while wearing little more than a vest and high heels, which gives Bazza lustful thoughts. Bazza buys her a nice black dress which shows her breasts off a treat, and they whoop it up down at Angie's Den (oh puhleeese). Juhneen does lots of dirty dancing with Bazza while looking at Bad Brutha, then goes home with Bazza. Bad Brutha is confused. Back at the Evans home, Bazz leans in, mouth wide open, for a kiss, and Juhneen is all "oh no, I don't want to spoil our friendship", slips off and joins Bad Brutha back at the club for a night of hot loving, by the looks of it.

My "What the Fu...?" meter breaks and I go back to considering the advantages of a decreasing life policy versus a fixed amount life policy...

NB: My mother is now threatening to buy a West Ham Relegation Special romper suit...