HE'S PAINED IN RIO (BUT I DOUBT THAT BABS WILL BE DANCING ON THE SAND)

This is a sort of combined one for Monday and Tuesday becaue I didn't realise that sarah had already done Monday…

Kyert is all happy now that she has received some hot loving from Fill (ew). Fill promises her that he will tell Babs about his newfound lurve, but when he gets back to Walford he discovers that “Grant has had a car accident in Rio” and that Babs has jetted off to be by his bedside and shriek at undeserving Brazilian medical staff. Sham is all set to go later and expects Fill to come with her but instead he stays to be with Kyert. Sham is all “but it’s FAMILY!!” Fill tells Kyert that she is his family now. Retch. Psycho nanny (who spends both eps being brushed off by Denman) watches ominously from the background. Later on, Fill goes to see MFK (who has bruises on his face following the latest bout of shocking gangland violence) and tells him to stop Evil Bouncer from following him around. MFK tells Fill that Evil Bouncer is nothing to do with him and that Fill can expect EB to rape, burn and pillage his entire family to get revenge. Ruh roh! Kyert goes to work and the baldy copper tells her that she can’t be Undercover any more if she is dating Fill. (not because she was really crap at it or anything…) Kyert bins her job to be with Fill and creepily tells him “I’m your responsibility now!” Clingy or what?

Drippy and Billy have non-comedy nonsense about a mouse in their flat.

Juhneen gloats to Pat about getting her claws into Bazza – she is now sleeping in pat’s old bedroom

Rickay tries to write more poems for his new girlfriend. She wants him to make up a poem while they are doing it as it turns her on when “blokes talk all intellectual like on the telly.” Good one, Sylvia Plath-etic. Rickay is dismayed at the thought of trying to impersonate Late Review Tom Paulin whilst on the job (“extra-ooooordinary”) and stutters like a fool. Sylvia runs off to let him create on his own.

Ethel 2.0 tells Fool to make Slutty jealous by kissing other girls. Fool flirts annoyingly with random pub customers but it doesn’t work. Later he has a meaningful conversation with Slutty about this special girl he likes. Slutty says that if this hypothetical girl hasn’t noticed him yet then he should forget her. I am bored of this plot now.

MYGus wanders round sadly whilst all the villagers mutter and shun him. Martin sits moodily on the Swings of Contemplation and hatches more criminal schemes. Vickney gets Denman to help her return the stolen booze and save MY Gus from the Old Bill. Eventually Denman arranges to be in the club on his own with the stolen booze and calls the cops to report it stolen. Sharon discovers him and is all cross etc. Den lies really badly to the cops and Shazza backs him up. They let MY Gus off and take the booze away. Shazza throws Denman out of the flat as she reckons he is a bad influence on Vickney and he glowers, woodenly.