DUMB DEN DUMB DUMB

It's nighttime on Albert Square, a cute little foxie rummages around in Simpleton's bins. From the wrong side of the tracks appears a tall dark man who looks a bit like Tim Henman. The EE scriptwriter's symbolism robot goes into overdrive.
Tonight, dear readers, is the Night of The Heavily Contrived Plot Device.

Den Jr (for it is he) somehow gets down to the tube station gates and looks poignantly through the bars. After a pointless argument with a London Transport employee, he steps through the opened gates and breathes the fresh air of freedom.

For some reason Dot is in a car with Comedy Vicar. She plans to stay out all night in the caff rearranging her cutlery and being horrible to some young people(HCPD no.1) in search of a decent cup of coffee.

Den Jr mooches around the club, looking stalkerly. Fill spots him and orders him back to Vickney and Shazza's. Stopping off at the caff, he gets talking to Dot and her crisis of faith.She reads out a letter from Evil Nick which makes
Den Jr "thoughtful". The young people put a rock through the caff window and steal Dot's bag. Den Jr roughs Young Person up, retrieves the bag. Fool invites him into the pub for a drink, (HCPD 645) which allows Den Jr into the pub so that he can wander around, looking proprietorial.

Fill finds out about Ian's double crossing sandwich action. There's a lot of non-comedy bollocks about Minty and his Special Cue. Minty "persuades" Ian's chip monkey to hand over the keys. Dr Perv sits on Minty's Magic Cue and breaks it. Oh dear. Exit Minty.

Fool is worried about Backstreet's disappearance (HCPD no. 2) and leaves the pub lights on.Slutty gives him a vile shirt and a hug to cheer him up. Fool gets a hard on and is embarrassed. He works off his shame by hugging Ethel 2.0. Backstreet returns and they "talk". Ethel 2.0 demands a hug from Slutty. Slutty obliges. Ethel 2.0 gets a wide on by the looks of it. She announces to Fool that he's in lurve. Fool denies it.

Backstreet's mulletted colleague turns up with a suitcase of Conway Twitty CDs and displays a disturbingly thorough knowledge of '50s pop trivia. Backstreet gets all upset when Fool menaces Mullet for a refund and decides to take the CDs anyway

Slutty returns Dot's bag and Dot's existential crisis continues - only she's a lot rattier about it.

Den Jr phones Shazza from the pub and invites her over. Fill overhears and
they have a fight. Den Jr flattens Fill. Hurrah!