WHY DOES FOOL FALL IN LOVE?
Sonia is typing away frantically on her new laptop, no doubt composing filthy moomintroll fan fiction (actually it is a letter to Jaymee. retch). She chastises Jim und Dot for daring to have a good time on her birthday. Dot's godlessness is manifesting itself by causing her to wear her housecoat until noon and read filthy secular magazines like "Take a Break". Sonia wants to talk about Jaymee's eternal soul but dot has a look on her face like "Fuck all this metaphysics shit". Eventually Dot snaps and tells Sonia that there is no afterlife and that everyone rots and dies. Sonia runs away and cries.

Ian goes and moans at Simpleton for ruining the chippy. What a bad loser. Simpleton doesn't care. (Dear Simpleton, you are not acting in a nativity play therefore it is not necessary to cradle your pregnant stomach in every goddamn scene you are in.) Pat says she is going to contest the will. Go Pat!!

Backstreet manages to sell a batch of faux G-Shock watches to some random blokes.

A smarmy bloke who looks like he ought to be in a "just for men" hair dye ad lurks round the square. He asks Baz and Juhneen if they want to sell the car lot to a used car chain store or something. Baz says no but Juhneen looks calculating (surprise surprise). Later on she secretly meets with Mr Justformen and asks for a job. He says that he will give her a job if she gets Baz to sell the car lot.

Den Jr and Slutty arrive back in the Square on a milkfloat after their glamorous night at the Hippodrome Leicester square. Slutty laughs non stop for about 15 minutes. she has lost one of her shoes and says that den Jr has to find it. Fool sits on the Swings of Contemplation like a big loser. Den and Vickney bond about betting and being workshy chancers, but then Den gets sick of Vickney and tells her to fuck away off. Vickney finds Slutty's shoe and Den Jr runs off to return it to Slutty and give her a big snog. Fool and Ethel 2.0 watch, haplessly.