BACKSTREET GOES FOR BROKE

Having sold his fake watches, Backstreet decides that it's time to PARTAY! He rounds up the Square's finest teen slappers (including Kellay and Vickney) for an evening of revelry and cheap champagne. Fool is worried that Backstreet really ought to save his money and put it into a bank or something, but Backstreet is Young and Free and Up For It (it - being a good smacking).

Juhneen's Eeeevil Plan to Take Over The World Pt 1: Juhneen tells AGarry that a new global cardealing and fixing conglomerate is going to set up shop around the corner from AGarry's workplace. AGarry is worried because if he's made redundant, then he might really have to start making babies with Sullen.

Moomin is worried about Dot, especially when she doesn't bother stopping Jim from losing his pension in The Big Card Game round at Fill's (with Minty, Fill and Denman). Jim rejoices in his new-found freedom, but it wears off after about an hour. Dot says she's alright, but then shows evidence of demonic possession by completing the Take A Break crossword in record time and muttering existential angsty thoughts about death. Jim is sad.

Juhneen's Eeeevil Plan to Take Over The World Pt 2: Juhneen tells Bazza that the ew global cardealing and fixing conglomerate will put him out of business. Bazza is scared, but makes a speech about the dodgy street-corner car dealer and his irreplaceable role in the fabric of modern society. Then he looks for Mr Grecian2000's business card. Juhneen smiles, eeeevilly.

Meanwhile, back at El Rancho Fill, the Big Card game is about to start. Minty has been boasting all day about buying a second-hand Ford Mondeo. Jim has an attack of guilt and runs off home before he loses his shirt. Denman pretends that he's a bit "rusty" - NB: Fill/Minty/Bad Bruvva? That's what is knows as the oldest trick in the book. Even I've pulled that one.

So, Denman takes all their worldly possessions, particularly Minty's Mondeo and chuckles. Fill looks pink.

Backstreet's Big Night Out ends in tears when Shazza finds out that he was paid in forged £50 notes. NB: Backstreet The only place you get good 50s is a bank, and even then you've got to check, idiot boy!

One of the dud notes was passed to a Mate of Fill. Shazza predicts Trouble and Bad Things. Duh duh duhhhhhh