BIZARRE LOVE QUADRANGLE

Now that Dot is religious again she is back to her old sanctimonious joyless self. Jim arranges some kind of wedding vow renewal ceremony for him and his recently heathen bride. Bless.

Poline and Pike fuss around and cook a roast dinner to welcome Martin home from the slammer and then Pike goes to collect him. Martin certainly wasn't lacking for hair styling products in prison. They have a tense dinner and Poline gives him the entire stall. Martin says "cool, thanks" but then tells Pike that he never wants to work on the stall again. Maybe his cellmate gave him a treasure map or something. Asif, Vickney and Backstreet show up and the kidz all go off to the Vic to celebrate with lashings of ginger beer.

Baz gets the contract from Mr Brylcreem and says he wants to look at it overnight before he signs it. Not show it to a lawyer or anything... Cretin. Juhneen and Mr Bryl have a "secret" meeting in the Vic and Juhneen presses him about her new job. She says all the stuff she wants (£30K, commission, a car, an army of winged monkeys, muscular houseboys, etc etc) and Mr Bryl agrees to them all instantly and suggests that they go and celebrate in private. Juhneen makes it clear that she isn't going to put out until she has her employment contract.

Dim Denman invites Slutty out to a swanky bar opening and buys a whorish top for her to wear specially. Fool overhears Denman telling Bad Bro that Slutty is a cracking bird and reports back to Slutty. Fool finds one of Slutty's viscose leopard print scarves in the cellar and starts to sniff it and touch himself until Backstreet interrupts him. Backstreet is now in charge of buying crisps for the Vic or something. Meanwhile, Kellay and Teen give Joanna (who? the nanny I had completely forgotten) a makeover so she can seduce Fill. The makeover includes a really nasty, peasant style, brown patchwork blouse. ew. Fill ignores her and grunts and scratches his arse so Nanny huffs off and is instantly snapped up by Denman - trying a bit too hard to prove your heterosexuality there, eh Den? The dirty love rat tells Slutty that he can't go to the party as he has to bail out a crim friend and then runs off. Fool sees Denman pawing the nanny outside and looks troubled.

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