THIS AIN'T NO HOLIDAY
I know Kathleen Hutchinson has only just left, but there's a sense of mopping up of formerly crap storylines about these eps - though that might just be a forlorn hope on my part.

So, the BabyNotBabyYesBaby plotline continues. LadyDen tries a few leading questions like: "That wasn't nice of Denman to run off was it? Do you think he had a good reason other than he preferred shagging his adoptive sister to his pregnant girlfriend? Fancy Teen getting pregnant just at the wrong time eh? Isn't that funny?" O-Den pretends he didn't hear. I was busy trying to identify his newspaper - bet it wasn't the Mirror.

Byrite goes over to the Truemans to tell Yolande that he didn't kill Paul and could she please tell TriniDad to stop overacting. TriniDad is cross that Yolande exchanged words with Byrite. Yep, OK. Next.

Drippy takes Teen and Cute Baby Freddie out for a walk. In the middle of the night? Jesus, no wonder the kids on this square are nutjob muppets or soul-eating demons. Teen takes time out from her busy schedule of self-pity to tell Drippy to stop acting like an twat and take HanniBill Lecter back for all our sakes. Drippy looks droopy. Drippy gets a platonic good luck hug from Fool, but Billy sees them, goes apeshit and punches Fool. Well, I say 'punch' in the most general sense of the word. It looks more like he was trying to swat a stray eyelash, but Fool's face later is a picture of purple heroism. I've probably got all the sequencing wrong because I really have run out of care for this plot, but anyway, Billy and Drippy look like they're about to make up but then Billy calls CBF "your kid" and Drippy takes offence. I say "your kid" every time I want Mr P to change the baby's nappy; my mum says "your kid" to my dad every time I do something to annoy her: it's just a turn of phrase, Drips, love. But...oh no, she's off again. And it's for good this time. I'm missing the West Wing for this, you know.

Curly gets invited to Sham and Minty's for dinner. Minty's not happy. Curly tries to break the ice by talking football, but poor old Minty's a Wet Ham supporter and you know how sensitive they are. Curly supports Spurs anyway (hahahahahahah!), but then they discover that a mutual hatred of Byrite is worth more than getting trashed by Crystal Palace, and bond mightily. Sham: pleased.

Some junk mail arrives for Teen, and LadyDen uses it as an excuse to nip over to the Slater Tardis to confront Teen. The baby still isn't in bed because Teen needs an opportunity to hold the baby and look troubled. LadyDen turns up and tries to get Teen to admit to her wrinkly trysts with O-Den but all she does is whine about missing O-Den. LadyDen goes back to the pub and promises to take care of Teen for once and for all...bwahahaha!