THE SILENCE OF THE SHAMS
Hmm, I don't this one need detain us long. It is Demi and Dumber's 14th birthday. One of them gets a PS2 and Keef hogs it, the bastard. Kareena is there with Mickney so it looks like they weren't just pretending that the Ferrieras never existed, as I was beginning to suspect. Rosie Klebb asks Clint to find out if DSKeef is ready to marry her yet. She drops loads of hints too. Clint and rosa think Keef is up for it but he probably isn't. Who cares, eh?

Dot is worried about her cancer 6 month check up but not worried enough to, oh I don't know... STOP SMOKING. Jim is supportive. They worry about Yolande and Trinidad.

blah blah mah son is deaaaddddd etc. Trinidad sits up all night spying on Byrite. He goes round the police station and harrasses DI Wanamaker. He wanna make 'er (see what I did there, eh? eh?) tell him what is going on but she is worried he might tip off Byrite. He shouts at Byrite a bit and goes to the pub. Byrite glances round anxiously, on the look out for mobs bearing pitchforks and torches and tells that well known 60s folk band Curly&Lee to protect him. Yolande tries to contact Dr Perv, run the shop and arrange the funeral. She cries at Poline's house and goes on a super acting rampage. She begs Trinidad to help her etc and lets slip that Trinidad carrying on won't make him feel less bad for being a rubbish dad. Doh! Trinidad storms out and Yolande is sad.

Ian avoids Poline but she catches him in the end. oh yes. She says she doesn't mind if he wants to shag around but for pity's sake he should think of the children. Ian tells Jane that he loves her, so the relationship is no longer casual and he can carry on shagging her.

Byrite sees Curly and Sham chatting and accuses him of kerb crawling. Um, remind me who married whom for money again, Byrite?? Curly: angry. Sham: He's not worf it! Curly is all "must destroy Byrite" and Lee says they should bide their time and spy on Byrite as long as they can before they pounce. Curly nods, as though that is the cleverest thing he has ever heard.

First Teen, now Drippy has moved back into the Slater House - they are like salmon returning to spawn or something. JoJo and Teen have to share a room (catfights a go go) and I guess Charlie is sleeping in the bath or something. Teen: still sad. Drippy: not wanting to talk about it. Billy moans to AGarry and Fool that he has really put his foot in it and wants to make things up to Drippy. Um Billy, that might work if you forget an anniversary but not when you tell your wife that you HATE HER BABY. Fool offers to act as go between and smuggle notes to Drippy. Later on Agarry accidentally drops Fool in it and Billy is suspicious. Later on still, Drippy goes for a walk and runs into Fool. they agree that they are good mates and hug. Of course, Billy spots them from behind a market stall and tries to make a mean face, but as Drippy says, he's not exactly Hannibal Lecter.