SORRY IT'S LATE
Poor Teen! She really has bitten off more than she can chew (in more ways than one) this time. She wakes up next to Denman and starts ripping the sheets off the bed and scrubbing herself with a brillo pad. Denman tries to apologise about being a bit of a dick, but all Teen can see is the filthy filthy sheets and dirt everywhere. Denman escapes to the pub, where he runs into more lectures from a very smug O-Den, and LadyDen.

Incidentally O-Den gave LadyDen a big kiss this morning, but I think he was a bit tired to do the baby business. Anyway, it was enough seeing his scrawny naked chest, to be honest.

Today's non comedy sub-plot: Dot renounces gossip and spends the day stopping up her ears and mouth like an ornamental monkey. Poline grimaces a lot.

Curly's all creepy and smug around Byrite, until the cops raid the bookies, accusing Byrite of passing dodgy money. As if he'd be stupid enough to put counterfeit cash into his bank account. Even the Co-op can stop that one, idiots. Lee reminds Curly that Byrite is protecting them from the Walthamstow Massive or the Peckham Partnership or whatever. Anyway, Byrite's insurance covers him for the funny money

Minty encourages Sham to think of her job at the chippy as a new start. At the bottom. The only way is up...etc. They go out to the Vic and Curly gets a chance to chat her up some more. Poor Minty! Curly thinks her hatred of Byrite will bind her to him. Jesus, why can't she just like you?

Fool can't spell "bric-a-brac". Why he just didn't keep the stall's old name of "Ted's Tat", I've no idea. There's some nonsense about getting the entire market into his old place of employment to celebrate his new stall, and O-Den gets a chance to be mean again. Why doesn't he just do a Donald Sutherland and headbut a few kittens? That'll teach them (and make the trains run on time). Drippy tries to get out of it, but Fool assures her that he's not after her. Oh no...

Ian discovers that Devil Child Lucy has been bunking off with JoJo, which is apparently a crime worse than talking to the Evil Undead. PantoJane steps in as Substitute Mum. Again.

Denman takes the night off to make it up to Teen. He buys some chocolate and suggests they watch TV together. Woohoo...Teen tries to tell him that she's being forced to sleep with his dad and bottles out again. Denman suddenly gets frisky, but Teen suddenly has a vision of O-Den's wrinkly manhood and wriggles away. Denman: ruffled manhood. Stomps back to pub.

There's an odd scene with a photographer and Fool and Drippy and the Pub of the Year competition that I don't quite get. Then we get onto the really creepy stuff. O-Den reveals to Teen that all he really wants is Shazza, but since she's gone to the US, Teen will have to do. A nation goes...ew.