COD ONLY KNOWS...
Byrite can't stand the Moonlets strutting around the market and giving him cheek, so he tells Quentin to stop reading his manga mag and do some digging on Small Time Gangsta Google, or whatever they use to provide background filler on new characters. Meanwhile, Fool seems to have got himself a job as a fishmonger. Now, I went out with a fishmonger - admittedly for about ten minutes, but he told me that fishmongery wasn't a skill you picked up overnight; yet here is Fool, monging fish like a pro. How did that happen?

Demon Child Lucy is fed up, and agrees to hang out with JoJo, shoplifting and drinking alcopops on Arfur's bench until she gets bored and goes off shopping with the Bealemeister. Weird kid. JoJo. JoJo is impressed with Demon Child Lucy's burgeoning talent for minor acts of evil.

Sham puts her best gangsta Barbie outfit on and goes to extort rent from the Ferreirazz. Only Adull is in, watching a rather posh little TV instead of manning the phones. He gladly pays over the £20 they owe Sham and says it's good to see her out and about, demanding money with blondeness. Sham fails to hear O-Den call her the "walking dead", but does hear from LadyDen that her share of SophistiKyert's is up for sale. Sham makes that "interested" purse of her lips...

SophistiKyert is in her best UndercovaGangsta Barbie outfit, off for an interview to get her old copper job back. The lady superintendent type is very nice until they get onto the subject of Fill Mitchell. Kyert says she regrets nothin', not even sleeping with Psycho Potato Man, and storms out. Sham offers to buy a share in the nail bar, but Kyert's not in the mood to discuss it.

Speaking of Psycho Potatoes, Quentin discovers that the Moonlets have "crossed" some Johnny Psycho gangster type in another part of London. Somebody who makes Byrite go, "ooooh...not him...". Meanwhile there's a bloke who looks a bit like Tony Bennett wandering around the square, acting like he left his heart in San Francisco and asking after Goddess Pat. It soon turns out that Tony is indeed the Mad Johnny Psycho type that Byrite is scared of. I'm not exactly sure why because he turns out to be even more pathetic than Byrite, being the only London gang lord in the history of gangs who doesn't deal in drugs. Even Byrite sells the odd wrap of coke to the local Poxditch twats for goodness' sake. So anyway, Tony Bennett tells the Moonlets that he'll sort out the bag business, but they have to stay where they are and work for Byrite. Neither party looks all that impressed. I dunno, maybe he thinks that Byrite's Empire of Evil will be destroyed by Lee and Halfwit Moon's hilarious acts of incompetence (just trying the different names for size, FilmFan - ed).

Tedious non-baby crypto nonsense storyline update. Rosie Klebb bullshits about knowing that Teen is pregnant because she's got extra freckles or something. Drippy whisks Teen off to the caff to give tell her that having babies to cement a crumbling relationship is DOOMED, and that somebody with her shoulders shouldn't worry about miscarrying. O-Den tells her to stop lifting heavy objects and concentrate on putting Denman's sperm to work. Teen puts on her best frilly vest, buys a fish supper, and tries to get Denman in the sack again. Denman flinches and makes more excuses. Oh well, at least we didn't have to listen to more pearls of wisdom from Keef tonight. Be thankful for small mercies...etc