BYE BYE. BABY
LadyDen finds O-Den downstairs at 5am, playing on the smallest pool table in pub history. No wonder Gus keeps winning on it, it's teeeny. More bickering about moving on and not brooding about driving away Shazz and Vickney. LadyDen suggests they try to make some replacements, but O-Den's not keen. LadyDen sulks because she wants babies now that everybody else seems to have them. Say goodbye to that spiral perm then, love.

Teen is rapidly turning into the human equivalent of Velcro whenever she's within half a yard of Denman. You can hear the ripping sound as he makes his break for freedom. Denman reminds Teen that they've got a baybay to think about now, so none of that filthy sex nonsense, then he runs off to play with Byrite. Byrite suggests that he and Denman run the club together - get rid of the girly cocktails...maybe do an Abba night...Denman goes to O-Den for advice and gets told to close the club down. Now that he thinks there's a baybay on the way, Denman doesn't go grr smash as much. Instead he glowers prettily.

Kyert packs her things and sells up at Sophistikyerts. Apparently there was a Salon Selectives shortage in the East End on Friday, and everything was bought up by Jonathan Ross's mum. Sham shuns her in the chippy - well, she is covered in cod batter and not in a good mood. Drippy, Ian and LadyDen all wish her well, and she even gets a quick snog off Denman. Bye bye Kyert! We'll miss you and your ker-ayzay taste in men.

LadyDen gets a letter from Shazz and Vickney, telling her that they're wintering in Florida with Shell, and not to call or write or do anything that might tempt the producers to bring them back. O-Den: face like a cat's arse.

Byrite oppresses Lee and Curly (hhmmm...like that one). Lee notices that Fool hates Byrite - didn't take him long, did it? He's the clever one, you know. Fool won't say why he hates Byrite, and instead decides to pack Backstreet off to look after Maxwell's hammer collection in deepest Chatham, where he'll stay out of trouble. Haven't been to Kent in a while, have you Fool? Oh well. Bye bye Backstreet. Hope you feel better soon.

PJane doesn't want Ian at CJDave's funeral because it'll be difficult to explain him away to the parents. Ian: sad. She turns up later and asks him to help her sort out CJDave's stuff at the secure home. Ian: on a promise.

Denman comes back to the flat from another session with Byrite in which Byrite says he shoulda gone with Shazz and Denman glowers prettily some more. Velcro Teen suprises him with a romantic meal and more "sexy outfits" - blimey - Take a Break's fashion pages have been busy. Denman flinches visibly and says that he'll shag her after the birth and not before. Teen runs out of the house to find O-Den and tell him that it's all hopeless and that Denman will never touch her again. O-Den sighs and says if Denman won't give her a baby, then O-Den will just have to do it himself, c'mon love, get 'em out. A nation retches.