BRIC-A-CRAP
Fool is sad because all Curly can find for the Old Tat stall is a bunch of tinsel and a few million second-hand Christmas cards. Fool is obviously far to busy staring longingly at Drippy to mooch around the bring-and-buys and jumble sales of London for his own stock, so he deserves what's coming to him.

Rainman discovers why his cab only cost 50p and a packet of Benson's when it breaks down within yards of his house. Rainman is sad, but AGarry offers to fix it inbetween tea breaks. Ian notices AGarry and Minty winching the rusty old cab into the garage and berates his workers for being a bit useless. AGarry and Minty have had enough of Ian's unenlightened methods of worker motivation - especially when PantoJane seems to disappear for weeks on end - and walk out for the day. Rainman catches them in the pub and whines about not being able to work, and JoJo must eat you know. They return to the garage, and tell Ian that he needs to lighten up. Ian goes home and takes the Midwich brats to see Evil Dead III, like they always wanted.

Big Mo gets wind of an amazing mystery deal on some completely genuine watches. She passes the watches onto Curly. Curly passes them on to Fool. Fool flogs them to countless passers-by. Byrite looks on with a sinister smile on his face. Later, it turns out that Big Mo's mystery contact is Byrite himself.

Byrite sends Curly and Lee on a debt-collecting spree. Curly calls on the ex-B&B and asks for Bad Brutha. Yolande says that Bad Brutha disappeared in the Taxi of DOOM at Christmas. Curly looks puzzled. TriniDad calls Dr Perv and discovers that Bad Brutha is not meditating in the Himalayas after all. Duh.

Oh and JoJo apparently enjoys her first day in the shop, but TriniDad doesn't want her anywhere near the till.

After his drunken outburst at the christening, Drippy decides that Billy isn't a fit stepfather, and takes CBF to the pub. Denman protests that it isn't a bloody creche, but BabyHungry LadyDen ushers CBF upstairs. There's a cute little twist that leaves Denman in charge of CBF, and he discovers that babies are quite good fun, actually. O-Den utters some weasel words about fatherhood and being there to support Denman when he becomes a father etc. Nation goes eww and yells "Noooo!". Denman skips home to Teen and says that they should go to the doctor's for her booking in appointment immediately so that he can start learning about pain relief techniques. Teen realises that she is trapped. Time to splodge the tomato ketchup down the toilet, girlie.

AGarry tells Billy to get over this Graham thing because CBF doesn't deserve to suffer. Billy says he wants to see Eeeeevil Graham for himself, and bury the demons within. Or whatever. I sense a Fathers 4 Justice storyline/trivialisation coming up on the starboard, cap'n.

Sham and Curly flirt all day, then spend the evening licking each other's faces in the pub. Byrite jokingly tries to warn Sham off Curly, but she fails to notice that he's on another date with Quentin and snits off to lick Curly some more. Minty gags silently and asks if he can stay at AGarry's tonight. AGarry: happy but not showing it.