O-DEN OF INIQUITY
It is Bad Brutha's birthday and TriniDad is concerned that he hasn't shown up to collect his birthday cards and book token etc. Trinidad wants to forward them on but obviously doen't have an address (how about redirecting them to HELL!!!). He sits around the shop while JoJo and Yolande do all the work, and when Yolande makes him stack up some boxes of tea he spazzes out and can't stack them up; even though they are perfectly square boxes that a chimp could stack. He goes off to the pub and when he gets back, pissed, Yolnade marches him home to sort it out. JoJo is left in charge of the till and, of course, immediately contemplates nicking money that is given to her. TriniDad and Yolande open some of BB's bank statements and mobile phone bills and realise that he hasn't used either since he went away. I am somewhat distracted as Trinidad's shirt and waistcoat are the exact same colour as the door he is standing in front of. Why the camouflage? He is like a granddad, living room ninja. In the end he goes and makes a missing persons report to the kops.

There is something I don't really understand about Mo, Byrite and Curly and dodgy stolen goods. Don't bother explaining though, as I don't care. Fool is selling fake watches on his stall so Byrite grasses him up to trading standards, who confiscate his stock and make him shut down for the day. What a bitch. Curly makes "grrr" faces. He also flirts with Sham and tries to arrange another night of "making lala", as gifted chanteuse Ashleeee Simpson would put it. Sham is enjoying her little fling and chats to Panto Jane about it. Lee pops up in his gay matrix-looking jacket and tells Curly not to flaunt his Sham-boning dealy thing in front of Byrite. Why are you suddenly such an old fart, Lee?

Panto Jane is a little hurt when she discovers that Ian and the spawnlings went to see a film without her. I think Jane needs to get a better bra or something. she asks Ian out for a drink and he puts her off and generally acts all distant etc. Jane is sad and makes him sit down for a proper chat. He says he is just keeping his distance like she asked but she says she has changed her mind and is ready for a grief-stricken, emotionally confused relationship. They kiss and she gets lipstick all over him. "What do you look like?" she says and I amuse myself by shouting "A shaved ferret!" at the screen.

Billy and Drippy are still acting a bit frosty with each other. Billy tells A-Gary that he determined to have a dramatic confrontation with Evil Rapist Graham.

Evil puppetmaster O-Den screams "dance puppets! dances" as he mobilises the hordes of the witless (Drippy, Mo, Denman) to pressure Teen to go to the doctors. LadyDen is handily dispatched to visit a friend from Spain who is in town for the day. "Why are you doing this?" monotones Teen. So he can shag you love, it's not difficult or complicated. Do keep up. Teen says she is going to tell everyone, so O-Den relents and arranges for just Drippy to go with Teen. Demnan chats to Dot about how he is looking forward to being a dad now - so you just know something dreadful is going to happen. Teen just doesn't bother turning up, without phoning Drippy with a plausible excuse or anything. Girl, you are rubbish! O-Den tells Teen that he has got the one thing that she needs (ie. spunk) and that he is plundering her ovaries as a favour to her. She sighs and zombies into the bedroom for another round of inter-generational action. Drippy phones Denman who runs round looking for Teen - he goes upstairs in the Vic. Hmm, they aren't in the living room or the kitchen but wait! There is that goddamn germolene pink coat that Teen always wears. I knew that coat was evil and would get her in the end. Denman hears a muffled noise from the bedroom, sticks his head round the door and DUN DUN and indeed DUNHHHHH!!!! finds Teen and Denman in bed together. Denman stares at them and wonders if his medical insurance will pay for the years of therapy he will need to get over this scene.