WATT'S THE STORY, BORING SNORE-Y
Charlie is still doing his Romanian orphan routine. Mo offers him some corned beef sandwiches but Charlie isn't in the mood for reprocessed carcass shavings. He throws the plate at the wall, shouts at Mo to shut up and turns a scary shade of red. Mo runs away crying to Slutty and says that Charlie was never that mean to her, even when she was arrested for biting a copper that one time. Heh. Slutty (wearing a "slimming" black outfit and Kiss stylee clown make up) goes and shouts at Charlie and then gives an inspirational speech that cures him just like that. He finds Mo on Losers bench and buys her forgiveness with an iced chelsea bun. Meanwhile, Fool finds out that famous gangster Byrite Andy actually is, yes, a loan shark. Duhhhhh! Andy shouts at Fool and is moodily lit and all but I have still seen scarier 12 year old girls (especially in holloway, brrr)

Gus is worried because Juley has disappeared and goes round shouting at people. Juley reappears at the end and he has been beaten up. Good.

All the Ferreiras get togged up and go to see the building society dude. They have worked out a repayment plan and ask to transfer the mortgage to Adull and Ash, however Ash's credit history is basically a smoking hole in the ground thanks to his gamble-o-holic-ism and Adull isn't rich enough to carry the loan himself. Build Soc dude says that they have an extra two weeks to pay off the default and after that they are fucked. The Kidz all go to a pub and laugh and joke about it. Um, OK... actually they are trying to cheer Ash up for being such a loser. Adull says that they will raise the money and tomorrow is another day etc.

Sham gives Andy the keys to her flat... and her heart! Billy is sick of being Andy's bitch and is not happy that he is moving in too. Shazza (who looks more and more like Sam Fox every day) eventually decides to sell the club to Andy. Meanwhile, Vickney moves in with Poline. Poline writes a snooty note to Denman telling him to pack up her stuff so Denman has a "dramatic confrontation" with Vickney in the market - he asks her to come to dinner with him and Shaz and Vickney squeals that it is sick and wrong, while two overacting French and Saunders style extras ladies make shocked faces in the background. Later on Shazza tells him to chill his boots but then they go round with Vickney's stuff and Denman shouts at Poline. She asks what O-Den is going to say and Denman says "If you are so interested in O-Den then why don't you marry him?" (I so hope that isn't foreshadowing). The words "toxic witch" are spoken, Denman gets a slap and runs away. Poline asks Shazza why she always goes out with psycho weirdos. Shazza says that Denman isn't weird (ie totally dodges the question). Poline says she is just thinking of Vickney. Shaz is sad and goes home to lick Denman's face and cheer herself up with hot creepy sex.

A taxi cab drives into the square. Who could it be? Ok, we all know it is O-Den back from panto/Fort Boyard or whatever he does in his spare time these days. He suddenly shouts "Stop!" (and I have to admit I shouted "Hammer Time!") and gets out of the cab to stare at the burnt out club. "What's going on?" he soliliquises and Poline materialises out of nowhere like the grim reaper. The combination of my shit telly, her uber-tan and platinum hair make her look fucking freaky. She says that many strange things have happened while he was away, including Vickney moving in with her and Shaz and Denman getting it on. O-Den takes a while to grasp the true crypto horror and then makes a grumpy face.