TIE A YELLOW RIBBON ROUND THE OLD TAXI
The Slaters are all of a flutter because Charlie is due out in the next couple of days. Sullen has washed her hair and put special highlights in for the family visit to Charlie's cell. Chas is wearing a yellow sash thing that looks like he's been picked for the rounders team. He says that all the other prisoners are supporting him and say he shouldn't let Graham take him to the cleaners and other misdemeanours. Proof no. 987 that Charlie is in fact an idiot, if you needed more. He tells his Piers Morgan looky likey solicitor to fight Graham to the death because a bunch of crims told him to. Piers looks tired and patiently explains that since Charlie pleaded GUILTY, there is no fight to be fought. He should just pay up and shut up. Charlie shouts about his fighting fund and grabs hold of Piers's lapels. Two burly prison guards appear and drag him off to be punished by his prison husband.

Back in the Square, Juhneen glowers evilly at Nat and Bad Brutha as they skip amorously across McArfur park. Later she corners BB and threatens him with dire consequences if he starts causing trouble with Natalie. All this frolicking with BB and girl detectiveing over Bazza's death has been affecting Nat's mysterious work, and they sack her with one week's pay and after only one warning. BB sensibly says she has a case for unfair dismissal, but she ignores him and decides to fight for Bazlet's share of the Evans Empire. Juhneen is suitably nasty and BB is not happy. Nat walks out on BB (again) when he realises that his affair with Juhneen might come out if Nat starts causing trouble. If it gives us more Juhneen and less Ferreira nonsense, then I'm happy.

This ep is mercifully Ferreira-free, actually. Instead we have Shazza getting worried that Vickney isn't returning her calls (to Tenerife? On a mobile? Are you mad, woman?). She marshals Ian's support. Ian give Vickney some free chips and tells her to phone Shaz. Vickney has a bratty fit, summons Spencer to drink neat vodka (eww) at her house (Shaz calls, Spencer answers. Vickney: bratty), followed by a muppet rampage of knock down Ginger and attempted car theft. Spencer tells Vickney that she's speeding down the Highway to Nowheresville. Vickney says: "Whatever, Loser..." and bursts into tears at the thought of Shazza and Denman making the beast with two backs and more than its requisite number of fingers (again).

Fool tries to persuade Ethel 2.0 to come out with him on one of their wild bingo days out. Ethel tells him to stop being such a sad loser and get a life: she's got Lovejoy Tink to keep her warm now, and she doesn't need no kids cluttering up her life. Tink tries (and fails) to persuade Fool that he's not after Ethel's pension. Exeunt Tink and Ethel to Hatton Garden to look at oversized, tasteless engagement rings. Fool: sad.