NO NO PSYCHO NANNY NO
Poor old Psycho Nanny. Her hair now as flat as her self-esteem, she runs out of the house and confesses her bad thing to Zoe, who laughs. Meanwhile Mafia Martin slips out of Kellay's bed, leaving nothing but an old sock and bitterness in his wake. Kellay is sad. She only slept with Martin to make DJ Ross jealous, and DJ Ross was too busy stalking Teen to notice. Teen is conflicted. DJ Ross has invited her to this famous wedding, and if she goes she'll hurt Kellay's feelings by showing her that DJ Ross's love runs as deep as a birdbath.

Juhneen wangles a few hundred quid off Barry for a cheap beige suit and a day's secret roistering with Bad Brutha.

Kyert shows that her police training wasn't all for nothing, and deduces that the reason why Psycho Nanny got into bed with Fill (he told her) was because Psycho Nanny fancied Fill and could possibly be behind all the strange double-crosses and manipulations of the past three months. She and PNanny have a big shouting match where Nanny says that Kyert isn't a fit mother for MiniFill and only she can love Fill the way he should be loved.

Fil goes to see Lady Copper - who should rethink her conditioner; split ends all over the place. Lady Copper smirkingly denies putting a completely obvious tail on Fill - so he tells Denman to stay coolly cool and not blow their cover. Denman squints and twitches methodically.

Sullen refuses to come home while AGarry is there (yawn). Isn't the actress in court or rehab or something at the moment? Anyway, AGarry's gone baybay crazy and buys Simpleton some flowers before giving her a lift home. While he's at the hospital, Slutty screams at poor old Charlie about letting AGarry stay under their roof while Sullen languishes at Posh's house, and moves into the Vic with La Famille Moon.

Well, Sullen's lost her job at the launderette. And Poline is upset because Dot likes being retired - getting up at 11am, spending the day in the pub, spying on the neighbours - and won't take her old job back.

Just before they leave for the Seychelles, Fill and Kyert have to sack the nanny, call the dodgy lawyer to sort out a harrassment complaint against Lady Copper and deal with Nice Suit Man and the Brand New Heavies, who have some questions regarding Mad Frankie Knuckles. Kyert waits in the cab while Fill does some complicated manoeuvre involving exchanging lemon barley sugars that somehow implicates Denman.

I forget what happened after that because the cat started something really interesting in the garden. Oh yeah, Mafia Martin has some scheme for growing cannabis in Arfur's allotment. Poline thinks that an 18-year-old gardener will grow cabbages and hollyhocks...