WHO'S THE DADDY!

A-Gary brings loads of teddy bears and stuff around for Simpleton and Simplet. Simpleton makes sour faces and acts all put upon. A-Gary and Rickay talk about adorable babies in the caff and Ian stops by to mock them. Sonia lurks around in the background smiling wisely. There are more hints that Rickay is actually the daddy. Simpleton monologues to the kid that A-Gary is being really good but that Ian is actually the daddy - she must have jumped his bones before his vasectomy was fully effective or something. I don't really like this storyline because it forces me to keep thinking about Ian's testicles while I'm having my tea...

Adil and Kareena pop up for a few seconds to keep the boring fake girlfriend plot alive.

Jim is worried that poline will find a new laundrette assistant thus releasing Dot into the community. He steals the job ad from the Kwik-e-mart window to thwart them. Genius.

Baz gets the divorce papers through and is so depressed that he has to eat loads of donuts. Juhneen tells him that if he signs the papers he can make a start with someone new and points her cleavage at his face. Barry signs the papers.

Slutty doesn't tidy up after herself at the Vic. Fool is too much of a spineless bitch to tell her off but then Ethel 2.0 does in her lovable alzheimers type way.

Asif, Martin and Mullet Boy (who no longer has a mullet but I will never forgive him...) discuss growing dope at the allotment. Suddenly Gay Pike appears and they have to pretend to be talking about cabbages. Pike produces some gardening tools and says "let's plant the cabbages right now!"

Shazza is dragged off to Deptford under false pretences and while she is away Shiny Suit Boy and the Brand New Heavies arrive to question Denman. Denman denies capping MFK. SSB is about as menacing as a glove puppet. In the end SSB says he is pleased that MFK is dead and he just wants to know who it was so he can be sure to send them an Xmas card or something. So lame. Denman says "Oh well, in that case it was me." Suit Boy says "Cool, thanks. By the way it was Fill who grassed you up to me". Denman squints meaningfully.