FREAK! (GENETIC EXPERIMENT), LE CHIC! (GENETIC EXPERIMENT)

Ethel 2.0 continues to get more senile (and thus exponentially more annoying). She rubs some vile unguent onto Backstreet's scorched cheeks and keeps losing track of conversations. I vote for euthanasia. Now. Fool and Backstreet plan a holiday (you spoke too soon, sarah) and make concerned faces.

Shazza has run riot with the curling tongs. Her and Denman get a phonecall. It's Vuh-Vuh-Vickney! she is all sad and misses Walford. Shazza pulls a thoughtful face.

Dadvis stomps around and shouts at Ash. As Jim commented it appears that Ash (like early Madonna) is a gambler. I was hoping that his dark secret was that he was actually the same Ash as the one in the Pokemon cartoons and that one day he would run into the house squealing "Look Misty! It's a Bulbosaur!" Ash is applying for some dull job at the youth centre. It turns out that Gay Pike is applying for the same job. Martin sneers at GP. Dadvis tries to apologise to Shirley (who has an adorable fluffy cat, yay! and some nasty ceramic animals, boo! in her flat) Shirley tells him to talk to the hand and Dadvis slinks off.

Billy still owes money to charlie. Next.

Juhneen and Bad Brother talk about Operation Bazinator. Juhneen keeps trying to avoid Baz's sweaty clutching hands. He says they should celebrate, um, something but will only fork out for local partying. Baz drinks in the vic and Pat tells him that Juhneen is trouble and that he should steer clear. Baz is rude to Pat, who pulls classic Pat faces. At the club, Psycho nanny shows up (eh?) for a few lines and Baz snogs Juhneeen for, like, ten minutes. Everyone stares at them and gossips behind their hands at this shocking development.

Kellay and Teen are still not on speaking terms. Teen tries to apolgise but let's face it, she has violated the number one friend rule about not shagging exes. In the end she tells Kell that she can either deal or move out.

It is Sullen's birthday and all the Slaters are sad that she is on her own in poshville. Drippy has the genius idea that Charlie goes and visits her. A-Garrry leaves poignant messages on her voicemail. A_G ends up baby sitting Bobby Freak Genetic Experiment while Simpleton has a drink with Pat. Simpleton witters on about what a great babyfather Garrry is. Pat tells Simpleton not to be over-reliant on him and Simpers basically says "shut your cakehole, hag features". Pat makes more rueful faces. The baybay keeps crying and attention seeking etc and in the end Garry and the baby fall asleep together. Meanwhile, charlie returns with Sullen in his cab. sullen has very shiny, slicked back hair that makes her look like a big ol' les. Sullen is all touched by Garry's birthday gift (an antique bracelet thing) and is all ready to get back together with him , but of course he doesn't ever come home on account of the babysitting. sullen starts crying and makes really scary faces.