IT'S A RAT TRAP BILLY! AND YOU'VE BEEN CAUGHT
Shazza flaps a bit about leaving two grown men in charge of a small club in east London, and then leaves. Hurrah! Denman smiles, ignores the "books" - doesn't anybody use spreadsheets in this place? - and returns from the bookies' waving huge wedges of cash under Billy's nose.

Charlie demands his money back because he's such a crap cabbie, he doesn't get any tips, even in the tourist season. Billy tries to pawn his most prized possessions (a pair of boxing gloves and a fake Rolex), but not even the dodgy "we'll pay money for bits of used soap" market stall will take it. One word Billy: Overdraft. He tries to tell Mo that he's a moron again, but she witters on about something else and once again Billy is thwarted.

For some reason Minty gets hauled out of the plot cupboard for a few seconds, then goes running back in again.

In an act of desperation on the part of the scriptwriter, Denman disappears "somewhere" for a couple of days and leaves Billy in charge of huge wedges of cash. Ruh roh...you got an MPhil in Drama Writing for this, did you?

Nana Moon. Still gaga. Decides that Slutty is a stranger and therefore must die. Fool won't call a doctor and asks Slutty to leave. Slutty is cross.

Meanwhile, back at the Slaters, my husband dubs Sullen's haircut a "Rosa Klebb". Sullen continues with the smacked-arse face and runs off crying every time she sees AGarry and Simpleton with the Simplet. Oh grow up.

Simpleton doesn't like AGarry taking up sofa space,with his big male feet and insistence on having sugar in his tea. She asks him to leave. AGarry is sad. Then Rickay has a go at him in the caff and Simpers remembers what it was like with the Bealemeister threw her out on the streets. She says AGarry can stay for a bit. Surely with their combined income and housing benefit, they could afford a bigger hovel...

Dot...micromanagement hell...charges Poline for doing her own laundry - well get a bloody washing machine, fer chrissakes. Mafia Martin and Asif play loud music and throw beer cans around the allotments and annoy a man hoeing his perfectly symmetrical rows of potatoes.

But what's Psycho Nanny up to? She's got that evil pixie grin on her face, and she's on the phone, talking about "references". She arranges to meet a couple in the Vic, where they talk cryptically some more, and then she trots gaily out of the Mitchell house, dragging a huge suitcase. Bye bye Psycho Nanny. At least you didn't have to leave in Charlie's cab.

Fill and UKyert return from their holiday. The kitchen's in a mess, so Fill goes upstairs to sort out Psycho Nanny. The front door rattles, and in walk the couple from the Vic. They shout. Fill shouts. Kyert shouts. Even Mini-Fill looks a bit put out. It turns out that PNanny put an ad in Loot, rented the place out to Couple from the Vic and ran off with the deposit plus first month's rent. Mean, twisted, and worthy of Juhneen. Bravo Psycho Nanny!