In non-Mark news, Vickney moans about working on the stall and then mopes around with Shazza finding stuff out about her dad. Vickney’s hair is really bad and she is a rotten actress. She hits up Shaza for £50 and then disappears up west again.

Slutty is in a bad mood about her possible pregnancy and is all in denial etc. Fool tries to cheer her up and passes up the chance of hot sex with a random chippy so that he can lock her up in the Vic and make her wee on a pregnancy testing stick thingy. He also calls Babs Duchess about 8 times. Shut up, Fool. Everyone seems to want Fool to hook up with Slutty but it would be funnier if he started shagging Duchess Babs instead.

Evil slimey DJ Simon harasses Kellay for the remaining £200. I suppose it is impossible for Kellay to get an overdraft for 200 measily squids. Slime-on threatens Kellay with the cops and so she takes to running round the Square forcing women to buy polyester blouses and then nicks the £200 from the stall takings. Slime-on says he will only go away if she shags him too. Kellay says no and knees him in the nads. Go Kellay! Slime-on says that Kellay is a cheap whore who was taken into care and will end up back on the streets and then goes away. Kellay is sad. She also wearing the Giant Hoop Earrings of Sluttiness.

Fill wants to make things up with Undercover Kyert. He invites her round for a drink and sets aside a table in the Vic with candles etc. He forces lumps of pizza into her mouth, probably imagining that it is his midget cock instead. He invites her to come and spend a month in Sarf Afrika with him, his kids and his ex wife. Dude, she wouldn’t spend a weekend in Paris with you so take a wild guess at what she is going to say. Kyert says no and Fill moans that their relationship isn’t progressing. i.e. he hasn’t progressed inside her pants yet. They part on bad terms.

Mark. Sigh. Wherever he goes he seems to encounter rotting apples. Perhaps this is symbolic of something but I just can’t work out what. Desist with such intellectualism, EE writers! Mark sets up a booze/drugs cocktail and then tapes a farewell message to his family where he drones on his typical monotone about how everything rots and dies. Before he can top himself, Poline makes him keep an eye on the launderette and he has to listen to Roy blithering on about socks. Heh. While he walks home we get loads of shakey cam Mark-o-vision shots and the sound goes all echo-y. He looks at loads of random things. Whatever.

Mark’s terminal boringness starts to affect the space-time continuum and there are storms and power cuts etc. Sham and shazza are moping around the empty Angie’s Box. Mark suddenly teleports himself into a chair causing Sham to scream and drop a glass. When they look back he has teleported himself away again. This is really stupid and yet it made me laugh. Later on, Shazza goes round to Mark’s flat. She spots all the pill bottles and booze and purses her lips and raises one eyebrow in the style of Vic Reeves.