THE UNBEARABLE SHITENESS OF IAN

I missed the beginning but basically it looks like AGary and Sullen are back from their holiday. Sullen has a new hairdo that makes look a Puritan or an Amish lady or something. I can just imagine her saying "aye, 'tis a fair poppet, Goodwife Mitchell" or something. anyway, they go on about all the hot sex they had in Morroco - Eww. No-one wants to know that - and give naff dolls to everyone. Slutty is unappreciative on account of being pregnant and all and later calls a special clinic so she can see about getting an abortion.

Teen (who has a really enormous rack nowadays) realises that they are £200 down on their takings and goes on the warpath. Kellay blames Backstreet and then whilst Teen is interrogating Backstreet she packs all her bags and runs away from home. Teen catches Kellay at the tube station and Kellay cries and confesses about how Slime-on blackmailed her. Teen forgives her and says she is family and that she should have come for help etc.

Poline etc arrange a surprise birthday party for Mark. Vickney is annoying. Someone spots a blonde lady going to Mark's house and they all assume that it is his new girlfriend. As if. At the party, Ian gives him a share of his new business and Mark doesn't accept it. He also says he is selling his house and that the blonde foxtress was actually an estate agent. Poline is cross and stomps off. Mark stomps off. Vickney is annoying again.

Ian swans around going "la la la, I'm rich again." He says that he has thwarted Simpleton and that nothing can get in his way again. Uh oh. Hubris alert! he is in the pub being annoying when suddenly Simpleton appears with an evil simper-tastic grin on her face and a sassy new haircut. Hurray! who would have thought I would ever be so glad to see her!