WHAT'S UP DOT?
Dot's still off her food and putting hot water bottles on her kidneys. Denman looks concerned when he sees her dumping some toast in a McArfur Park bin, and books her an appointment with Doktor Boden-Shirt. How did he do that? You have to be shot full of holes and bleeding all over the floor before you get a same day appointment at our local surgery. Even then you'll get five minutes and a plaster if you're lucky.

Most of this ep is taken up with the lamest of lame video racing plots. RainMan is worried about everything going wrong, but AGarry pokes his head out of the duvet long enough to phone a "mate who used to run these things" to find out what he needs to run lame video racing nights in the pub. Sham can't be bothered because she's still hypnotised by her shiny shiny engagement ring. Jim and TriniDad spend all day reading old racing pages to no avail; while Mickney and Mo watch the vids so that they can plant non-speaking "winners" in the audience. Well, one non-speaking winner, because nobody would get at all suspicious if the same person won every race, would they? Pat, taking a break from trying to get people to look at her holiday photos, dons her Miss Marple mac and rumbles Mickney's little game. Byrite watches approvingly with his "this old girl's got moxie! And she wears satellite dishes in her ears!" look. He offers Pat Billy's job at the bookies.

Oh what else. LadyDen gives Dot a free hairdo which appears to involve patting her head for half an hour and sticking clips on those wee curls on each side of her head. This gives her a chance to whiffle on about ODen being the perfect man, yadda yadda...while Kyert tries hard not to stick her clients' fingers down her throat. Kyert calls ODen over for a "talk". Apparently she really likes LadyDen and doesn't want to keep fleecing her. Hmmm...stop sleeping with her husband then. Apparently ODen told her he wasn't married when they first met. And she believed him. You're not going to get a job on The Bill when they write you out, are you dear?

EDIT: Ian seems to have found a slave to wheel him around. He has another go at Pat (boo!) and chats to Kyert about family life vs living alone. Kyert is polite and says she likes being with his family. Ian's brain goes "Simpleton alert!", and he tells ODen that Kyert really likes him and he really likes Kyert and...what should he do next? ODen looks slightly impatient

Dot goes to Doktor Boden-Shirt and witters nervously about reading an article in Cancer Monthly about how easy it is to confuse a malignant tumour with slight backache. Doktor Boden-Shirt (wearing something from Gary Lineker's cast-off Euro 2004 wardrobe tonight, by the look of it) tells her not to worry, but he wants her to go to a specialist just in case. Dot makes a wonderful "feh" expression and goes off home to worry her little heart out. I suppose June Brown has to retire eventually, but...noooooooo!