WAITING FOR THE TAXI, WHICH TAXI NEVER COME...
The Ferreiraz No-FatPat Cabz plot limps onward and downwards like a rusty old Austin Allegro. Pat lets a printer friend know that they're desperate for work, but she neglected to mention that they're bloody useless. Printer bloke decides to test them, and says he will set them a task of delivering a secret package to the mountains of Morden or whatever - would the EE producers please get a writer that actually does some bloody research? This stupid cab firm plot might actually work if we believed it. Anyway, DJ Ross is too busy playing with a cheap boom box, Ash is too twitchy, and Scalliq's too busy polishing the cabz; so it's down to Adull to save the day. He pulls up at some deserted factory-type location in Plaistow, and spies a commotion behind him. It's Martina Navratilova! Dressed as a tranny stripper! Being chased by faceless men in black! Maybe she's overstayed her visa and they're trying to deport her to Alpha Centauri. Adull forgets about the big printer contract, and saves Martina instead. He has a goofy grin on his face, and is obviously expecting some naughty boy action in return for this big favour. Oh, and she spills a mochachocolatte all over him. Next.

Vickney has to make a dress for her next project, but she's got a cold that seems to have paralysed her fingers so she can't finish it and if she doesn't finish it she'll be thrown out of Fashion Designer College. LadyDen stops moaning about ODen for a second, picks up the design and the narsty 80s fabric, and takes it to Poline's. Now, I was crap at needlework at school, but I seem to remember that you need things like patterns and measurements when you're making dresses, not just a scrap of paper with a sketch on it. Poline says: "No no, I'm a nasty old witch, not a fairy grandmother. Good deeds aren't good for the rep". LadyDen hands her a bottle of wine and offers her a chance to bitch about ODen, so Poline gets the Singer out.

AGarry doesn't want to talk about being sad, but Rainman orders a chinese takeaway and invites him to share it while watching a documentary about squirrels. I think this is supposed to be East End male bonding: eating a spring roll while watching squirrels bonking. They could have gone to the park and done that; at least they would have been out in the fresh air.

TriniDad has to meet the social worker tomorrow. Oh the tension.

Tedious menage-a-trois plot update. ODen creeps in at 5am, but LadyDen is waiting and very cross indeed. Den doesn't even bother making up with her, and instead sneaks off to arrange another night of passion with Kyert. LadyDen pretends to everybody that they had a wonderful evening together, but then breaks down and tells Kyert everything. There's a weird close-up of Kyert patting LadyDen's hand and saying that ODen must love her if he's messing her around like that; and then LadyDen looks suspicious. Kyert visits ODen later and tells him to treat LadyDen right, and she ain't going to be ODen's fornicatrix no more. Go Kyert go!