THE WEAKEST TINK
My damn VCR cuts off the beginning but it looks like Tink is trying some crazy ass Jedi mind tricks on Fool. "These aren't the WW2 medals you're looking for... I'll be off then" etc. Fool rubs his forehead and makes pained noises but then manages to cast off the evil psionic spell and stops Tink running away. He grabs back the medals and makes Tink admit that he is a conman. They argue back and forth and Tink says he is some kind of man-whore who gives ladies just what they want - for a price! Fool says that Tink has to come and dump Ethel 2.0 to her face. It has been sending me mad trying to think who Tink reminds me of and it finally hits me - he looks just like the Siamese dog off Rupert the Bear!

The fucking Ferreira Kidz are all standing in a row in their gloomy boarded up house as though they are appearing in an avant garde stage production or something. They moan about losing the house and then decide that they are just trying to keep hold of it to please their deadbeat absent parents. Not to like, have somewhere to live or anything. Jeeesus. The German Lesbian looking bailiff is just about to sledgehammer open the door when they open up voluntarily - unfortunately the GLL bailiff manages to stop the hammer from smashing their heads open as they stand in the doorway like muppets. Ash tries some moral high ground o-rama on the bailiff but he says "Dude, I'm not the one who fucked up the mortgage payments." I am ashamed to say I said "That's right, ASH!" out loud! Such a loser. The Ferrieras sit on the kerb and discuss their options but then all the neighbours rally round to help.

Everyone gathers in the Vic for the wedding. Pat is wearing a giant rectangular blue dress that makes her look a cubist painting. Kellay is wearing a ho-riffic midriff bearing jacket. Maybe that would be appropriate at Xtina Aguilera's wedding but not for Ethel 2.0! Poline and Dot talk about weddings. Yawn. NC subplot - Mickney and Mo sell coloured rice but then have to refund everyone when the wedding is (spoiler) called off.

Moomin and Martin go to the Park of Plot Revelations and talk about the wedding - they consider eloping, in a jokey way. Moomin's hair is looking quite nice these days. They talk about baybay Chloe and Moomin comforts Martin with some words of Moomin Wisdom.

Lady Den stalks O-Den but it turns out he is just going to meet Ian about something. Maybe O-Den has fallen for the Bealemeister's manly charms. That would be a surprise.

Ethel 2.0 is fussing that the wedding is running late. Tink and Fool show up and they go upstairs to talk. Fool mentions that the medals were stolen and Ethel just thinks he took them to help pay for the honeymoon and doesn't mind. Fool makes Tink admit that he is a cheating scumbag who was lying and pretending to be the man of Ethel's dreams. Ethel's little heart breaks into a million pieces and she asks him to stay anyway and turn over a new life. He says no and fucks off. Buh bye Tink. Ethel cries alone - nice acting from her but still this plot was lame lame lame.

When Backstreet finds out he runs downstairs and pops all the balloons in a totally gay manner. Grrr, kill those scary balloons, Backstreet! Pat asks what is up and Backstreet says "Tink was a dirty rotten conman and he has done a bunk!" Pat says "He's got my money!" - for the benefit of any new viewers.