NO NAKED JACUZZI
Today's title means nothing if you don't watch Big Brother. It has nothing to do with Enders either, but I just wanted to say it.

Yesterday evening was far too nice to sit around watching telly, so we played football instead. Here's the BBC-site crib thing.

Boy oh boy it looks like this year's Shane Richie Crying calendar will have a bonus shot of Shane Richie Crying And Being Comforted by Araminta (see left). 'Cos that's what happens. Ethel 2.0 finds Fool on the sofa, and tells him to sort his marriage out. They manage to get along for about ten seconds, then Andy slithers around Slutty, waving fivers in her face and putting bets on when Fool will chuck her out. Fool gets cross. Slutty demands a hug. Fool decides to storm over to Byrite's (still living with his girlfriend in her mum's house, the bigshot) and kill him. Araminta intervenes and holds Fool by the head at arm's length while Fool screams and flails his little fists about. Araminta warns Fool that Byrite will keel him good first if he tries anything. Fool cries. Like a girl.

Kareena still can't choose: drudging in Walford with her loser brothers or largin' it every night at Eden? Hmmm...difficult. Scalliq and the Boyz argue about the name of their new dodgy cab firm venture, and Scalliq hits on the genius idea of calling it "Kareena Kabs", because that'll make her stay won't it? Ian's cross because he just can't keep the staff long enough to sack 'em these days. Kyert gets another fostering job: this time it's part-time emergency carer for Bobby Simplet.

LadyDen finds a text message on ODen's mobile. Instead of checking the number she replies to the text with an invitation for dinner in the Restaurant for Dates. Bad move, Stalker Lady. I think her plan is something like: turn up at restaurant. Meet Mystery Lady and go "Aha!". Anyway it backfires. Den's text was from a beardy "business associate". LadyDen apologises.

Oh yes, and Slutty goes to LadyDen for a "new look" that looks just like the old look, only slightly flickier. LadyDen tells her that sometimes it's hard to be a woman etc.

Lame-o Backstreet doesn't fancy working in a bar in Ibiza all summer. Kellay wonders about leaving Backstreet behind, and promises to call every day.