KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA OH NO IT'S ROBBIE
Yes, indeed it is. There, my friends, is Robbie Jackson, dressed for Glastonbury and fast asleep in the cafe. Apparently it's the done thing for hippies to have peroxide highlights in India. A short expository conversation with Kareena reveals that Robbie should go straight back to whatever he was doing on that ITV "run your own topless bar" reality show.

I have to confess, my VCR picked up an interference problem with the TV and started taping the Test Match just after Mr & Mrs Moomin 'fessed up that they were already married. So I've had to revert to the BBC site to fill in the gaps.

Mr & Mrs Moomin return to the Square to find everybody scuttling about with wedding cakes, flowers, bottles of champagne and you expect MMartin to burst into I'm Gettin' Married In The Mornin' and do a cockney braces dance with some passing urchins. But they don't. they 'fess to the family, and Chris Cairns starts his run up.

Poline stops off to sulk in McArfur Park. Dot worries about what to tell the vicar, but they sort it out eventually, but only after MMartin gets to tell Poline that she's a dreadful mother who drives all her children away. Poline has a face like a smacked kipper all day, and keeps stomping out to sulk on Loser's Bench when it all gets too much.

I missed the return of Billy Jackson?!? Does he still have all that mad hair?

Ferreiraz move into their two-bed flat. DJ Ross and Scalliq have to share the couch. Haven't we had enough crypto incest, for crying out loud? Scalliq decides to set up a new PatCabs, only calling it ScalliqCabs or something.

Kellay announces that she's tired of Walford, and she's going to become a club rep in Ibeefa. Well, she had been going out with Backstreet for oooh...at least two weeks. That's practically married by Kellay standards.

Denman menaces Juley into giving Vickney's lost gambling money back. Yeah, like she'll learn that way, mate.

Fool/Kat. They don't know what to do. Fool's on the sofa. Kat's got so much make-up on, she could peel it off and make a little Kat mask.

Moomin follows Poline out to the bench and promises to love, honour and obey her as well as MMartin. Nooo! Poline is satisfied with this, and returns to the pub, where she announces that Moomin and MMartin will be living with her from now on. Moomin looks like she could be on that plane back to Mumbai with Robbie.