MOOMIN VERSUS OEDIPUS
It is the day that Moomin and Martin are supposed to be going back to the square. When Jim goes to check up on them he can hear them yelling at each other. Martin accuses Moomin of bossing him around and Moomin shouts that Martin is obsessed with his ubertanned, muppet-behaired mother. Martin says that Moomin is bad for bossing him around and is just like Poline. Ruh. Roh. There is no way back from that one. Moomin is understandedly pissed off at being compared to Martin's evil hag mum.

QVC Lady (Diamonique? Zirconia? What shall we call her?) is still selling her shiny trinkets on the square. Teen says it is tacky. Zirconia says that Teen's market stall is tacky and rolls her eyes to prove that she has moxie.

Scalliq goes off to sell the Ferriera Mystery Machine Van. Kareena phones around for jobs and is offered The Job At the Caff For Character With Speaking Role that Pat and Simpleton used to hold. Adull rents a two bedroom flat for the entire family. Good move, fuckwit. Later on it turns out that Scalliq swapped the van for two shit cars (Kareena gets a good line when she says "Did you get some magic beans too?"). Scalliq says that they are going into the used car business or something. All the other Ferrieras walk off and abandon him.

Mo and Mickney - when they're cleaning winders they are more annoying than usual. Mo has the cunning plan of spreading lots of bird seed round the square so that pigeons come and shit on windows, thus giving them more work. Whatever.

Moomin is still pissed off at the Poline comparison so Martin plays the "all my relatives are dead or have fucked off" card to win forgiveness and cries into Moomin's cleavage. Moomin forgives him and they decide to get married right then.

MY Gus and Julie successfully pool hustle A-Garry and Vickney. How challenging. Julie is wearing a hat that could be described as "wack".

Slutty arranges with the other pub staff so that Fool and her can have the afternoon off together. She sits pensively in her bedroom and starts to put on more make up. No Slutty! Less make-up! Any more make-up will cause a rift in the space time continuum! Noooo! When Fool comes up Slutty is in full-on clown face mode. She gives him wine and starts macking on him but he pushes her away. Have they always had a stuffed stoat in their living room? I only just noticed it. Fool says "You think sex solves everything" and walks away. Slutty begins to cry. Aww, poor Slutty - you should have let Andy break his kneecaps off. Fool comes back in a bit and Slutty says she can't stand their wierd non-relationship. Fool says he will sleep on the couch from now on. Fuck you, Fool. I pity the Fool who is mean to Slutty.

Dot and Poline are still in uber-wedding planning mode. Slutty suggests they take some time out to look after themselves so they wipe guacamole over their faces and put cucumbers on their eyes and reminisce about the old days. The comedy vicar pops round and manages to stop himself from licking the delicious salad off their faces. They all giggle etc. I do not.

Jim finds Moomin freaking out because she can't find her mascara or whatever. Yes Moomin, that's why you are supposed have bridesmaids and maids of honour etc. Jim does some vulcan deathgrip thing to calm her down and Moomin starts wittering on about how she is the Bride of Dead Jaymee. Um, okay, you mentalist. They have the wedding. Moomin's dress is quite plain but v. sculptural as though it is made of cardboard or something. I can't decide if I like it or not. The editors go kraxy with their mad avid-editing-suite skillz and cut between the wedding and between Fool/Slutty's marriage falling apart. Also they cut to PolDot toasting sherry together - that's a bit disturbing. Maybe Poline and Dot are going to get married too!