REDRUM! REDRUM!
Kareena and Adull find out that Gavin has recreated various scenes from "Carrie" and "The Shining" in the van where they keep all their stock. They grass him up to the cops while Dadvis stands around being all officious and annoying for a change. It turns out that Dadvis neglected to renew their insurance but he blames Adull anyway and shouts that he is going to take the stall over again and that Adull is a big disappointment. He is, like, one step away from thrashing him with a wire coathanger. Adull is sad.

Interfering busybody Poline tries to find Gay Pike's little Pikelets by phoning all the Harkonnen's(?) in the phone book. When that doesn't work she asks Sonia to tell her how the Interweb works. Cyber-Moomin powers activate! They find out what school the kids went to and leave a message for them on Pals Reunionated dot com.

A-Gary is getting hornay. I don't know where this plot is going but I don't like it already.

Juhneeen has a crisis summit with Bad Brutha about Baz-ra's indecent proposal. BB is all grumpy and doesn't say much. Juhneen says that Baz will throw her out if she doesn't agree and talks herself into getting married. BB still doesn't say much so she says "thansk for the advice, bitch" and runs away to cry the Bitter Tears of the Sad Gold-Digger. Boo hoo.

Fill und Kyert are back from their holiday. Jubilation! Squeaky now has the straggly scraped back hair of having reached rock bottom but now taking things one day at a time. She goes to see the baybay and manages to act like a normal person the whole time she is there. When Fill finds out that Sham got the sack he decides that it is a Plot! Kyert stands around mouthing worthy platitudes. Whatever, Kyert. Later on, Fill sees O-Den chatting to Squeaky and decides to wreak a terrible revenge. zzzz.

Slutty brings her wedding dress home. Teen and Sullen joke that it is probably made of red pleather and leopardskin effect viscosette. Slutty has a total sense of humour failure and runs around clutching a pile of "Bridezilla Monthly" type magazines. she gets Fool to tell her that she has good dress sense (blind: leading more blind) and makes him agree to come round and praise her wedding dress. Fool manages to get a cheap brain scan for Ethel off Lastminute.com and of course, it clashes with his flattery session. Slutty puts on the dress (it is an old fashioned white strapless number that emphasises her extremely broad, burnt umber coloured shoulders) and moans to Drippy about Fool failing to be her spineless bitch for once. She runs over, totally over reacts and tells him that their friendship is ovah! OVAH!!! Fool mutters that she doesn't understand (and whose fault is that, fuckwit?) and provides facial expressions for April - August of the "Shane Ritchie looking sad" calendar.