GIRLS AGAINST BOYS
Trinidad mopes around and poignantly fingers one of Yolande's colourful scarves. He goes to talk to Dot and Jim but they say that she has gorn. Trinidad hits the bottle and makes Bad Brutha slow dance with him (heh). suddenly there is a ring at the doorbell and yes! It is Yolande, she acts all angry and displays her full range of eye bulging facial expressions but it turns out that she is only joking and has come back so they can throw money around and shout "woo hoo! we're rich!"

Shazza has got her pout working overtime. O-Den and Denman keep patronising her and telling her not to bother them while they do manly crime things. Meanwhile Fill suddenly has a caffiene overdose or something and decides for no reason that he won't let Squeaky see Louise any more. Eh? Squeaky is outraged. No-one puts Squeaky in the corner! She goes moaning to Shazz and Shazz agrees to pay for a lawyer so that Squeaky can get custody and so that Shazz can prove that lawyers are better than crime. And also more boring. An underemployed lawyer appears at two seconds notice and says that Squeaky has a very good case. Shazza and Squeaky pour out some fizzy pop and drink a toast to their blonde alliance.

Fool scrapes around for tat to sell to buy an engagement ring for Slutty. Three words, Fool: "interest" "free" "credit". He sells a load of old shite and buys a ring with a tiny tiny diamond. Drippy looks at it all "that's a bit shit, isn't it?" so Fool tries to put off the engagement but it's too late! Drippy has already invited all of Walford society! Ethel 2.0 wanders round with a mischeivous twinkle in her eye and a tiny tiny plaster behind her ear covering up the scar from her MAJOR BRAIN SURGERY. Fool says "I want to give Slutty the stars!" and Ethel says "but she already has the Moon!" Aaaargh! Fuck Off! If any one else makes a character say a Moon related comment then there will be big big trouble. At one point Shane Ritchie's crappy single is playing in the Vic and Slutty says that it is her favourite. I think they are trying to make us angry on purpose. When Fool proposes, it turns out that Ethel has swapped the shit ring for her own diamond incrusted blinger. wow, she is really is Ethel 2.0 - she has cursed them with her Ring of Predestination just like Ethel Mark One did to Moomin and Jaymee. Anyway Slutty accepts. They are to have an Xmas day wedding (at such short notice? etc etc, oh I give up). Fool gives the ratners ring to Ethel and she is pleased for some reason.

Posh sees Simpleton buying a dowdy frock and makes a bitchy comment before swanning off to Knightsbridge to buy some posh clothes. She sees that sullen is moping around about Slutty's engagement and goes to confront her dramatically. She says that Gazzer still lurves Sullen and that she should go and fight for him. She kind of skims over the whole "shagging A-Garrry" part. She then goes into a wierd rant about how they should have stopped her marrying neville and becoming posh and how she wishes she could still be a hard faced cockney bruiser like her sisters. Whatever. They both overact a lot. Still, I like Posh and her mad steely eyes. They should have her in more often. In the end Posh drives off back to her empty, rich life (oh, boo hoo) and Sullen looks resolute.

Fill is unimpressed by Denman's criminal abilities and keeps moaning at him for not taking it seriously. Denman flutters his eyelashes at Fill but it doesn't thaw Fill's icy heart. Try taking your shirt off, Denman, that normally does the trick. O-Den actually says "It's all about trust, Fill". Ha ha! While they are discussing it, O-Den's contact shows up and says they have to rob the cash tomorrow!!!